The Mega-Zine Museum

January 6, 2005

GERI WITH ALLITERATIVE NAME WLW? Is that you? Do you remember me? Somewhere in the distant recesses, perhaps.

FARMER SIST Steven Wright is an American comedian, some of whose material, from the early '90s, has been submitted to Mega-zine by Lord Charles. LC, want to put your side forward?

LILAC LEOPARD Just when you start to think there's no such thing as a Christmas miracle, Busted might be splitting up. Better than Crimbo snow!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL

So, I'm going to be 20 this year. Twenty! WLW, I'll have to borrow your Zimmer frame soon, if that's OK?

For Christmas my mum got me two albums consisting of Green Day and Snow Patrol. Which was a bit different to the last Christmas effort - Atomic Kitten and Holly Valance.

At least she got one thing right last year.

Emma-the-lil'-Angel

What, the turkey? Or her plan to buy

BETTER MUSIC NEXT YEAR?

WEIRD WORDS

Earlier today, while I was casually looking through the dictionary, as one does, I came across a very peculiar word.

The word I came across was none other than "napiform". And what does this peculiar word mean? Well, it means turnip-shaped. Yes, turnip shaped.

Try and get that into a conversation.

The Old Newbie

What is the name for nappy-shaped?

TURNIPORM? I AM VERY CONFUSED

NEW YEAR'S EVE

My aunt went to a fancy dress party as Sharon Osbourne (looked more like herself, I don't know why), but during the course of the evening she got a bit fed up with it and put on a duck costume over the top.

She then jumped on a bouncy castle and managed to knee a six-year-old in the face.

This all happened while a Red Indian complimented me on my socks. They are nice socks.

Toenail Clippings

Is your aunt

SEVEN YEARS OLD?

CHRISTMAS SMALL TALK

And that's exactly how every single one of my conversations has gone over Christmas.

Even before Christmas actually. Which is odd...

Topper

Vary the question. What did you get

FOR CHRISTMAS? OFTEN GETS RESULTS

CALLING ALL 'ZINERS

Next time WLW is relaxing somewhere hot on his holidays, away from the pressures of WLW Towers and us lot, to appease the 'Zine addicts, we should get a 'Ziner or few to take over for a few days.

WLW, we all need the time to get over the annual over-indulgence that is Christmas.

What's the worst that could happen? Umm, uh, oh. What's the best that could happen? Umm, uh, oh.

Frodo Mercury the Hobbit Warrior

Fine by me giraffelets, fancy doing

NEXT WEEK FOR ME? I MISS THE SUN...

HOW UTTERLY ACE ARE EGGS?

Sometimes I wonder who actually invented eggs? Food of the Gods for sure. I mean think of the possibilities...

• They don't taste like Jaffa Cakes
• They don't bear any resemblance to giraffes
• You can paint them like chavs and shoot things at them.

Erm, that's about it. And don't get me started on chocolate eggs, like eggs, but chocolate!

The Demented Haggis Hunter

I have a few giraffe-shaped eggs in

MY FRIDGE, SO THERE

SOUND FAMILIAR?

I had a friend who once told me that their sister's mate's cousin's ex-boyfriend's older brother's girlfriend's dad knows WLW.

His name is Bob. He plays golf.

Ring a bell?

The Amazing Prancing Jellyfish

Eek. Medulla??? Get my case!

I'M, ERM, OFF. SOMEWHERE. ANYWHERE

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