The Mega-Zine Museum
November 7, 2004
SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER Butter on a roll, do do do do, Butter on a roll, do do do do. Marje on the bread, da da da.
INTERESTING CHAIR Just think of your favourite word, close your eyes and pair it with the first thing you see, ta-da! I came up with InterestingChair, strange yet original, no? Ok then... I've just got stripey elephants
LORD CHARLES Just where has Briggie got to these days? I'm worried. He went for some port and hasn't been seen since.
CUTS
Why on earth does a paper cut sting more than a cut with a knife? Knives are sharp, steely, dangerous and meant for cutting. Yet paper is, well, paper. A mushy pulp formed from wood.
Scissors hurt — slicing your finger with them while trying to complete your graphics project is not the best idea, which is why they invented guillotines.
I believe all homework should come with a Hazardous To Your Health sign.
Elden Ray
No students were harmed
IN THE MAKING OF 'ZINE
LORD CHARLES
This 'Ziner is a thief! Clearly half-inching the mesmeric work of Jack Handy and attempting to pass it of as his own.
Lord? Lord you say? What kind of Lord is he? I shall let you all decide.
Farmer Jack
These are grave allegations
HERE COMES THE JUDGE
FINAL FANTASY
I never realised how good these games are until now. However, attempting to play 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9 and Tactics Advance at once means the chances of finishing any of them are slim to none.
I nearly finished FFIX, whereupon the owner took it away. I'm on disc 2 of FFVII and have chosen to take a break to get a Gold Chocobo.
If my friends didn't keep giving away the plot twists it would be nice.
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
Like watching Arsenal on telly
WHEN SOMEONE GIVES AWAY THE RESULT
HEY
Just thought I'd say hello. How is everyone? All good and splendid I hope.
No fungal diseases or tickly coughs? No red hot arms or piping throats? No dreaded dread of the body? No sporadic tongue overlapping? No Mick Hucknall headache? Pasty red spleen rash? No?
Good good. Please carry on with your lives.
Topper
Wish you hadn't mentioned Hucknall
I FELT FINE UNTIL THEN
BIRTHDAYS
When I was younger I thought birthdays were great and I looked forward to mine with happiness. That is until this year when I entered the last year of teenagedom and the entire day whomped.
I had uni all day. I spilt soup over my new blue chucks. It rained and my hair went frizzy. I fell in a puddle, was laughed at by a really cute ska-boy and to top it off my parents forgot it was my birthday.
Pah!
The Dancing Skanking Laydee
Maybe next year
YOU'LL GET THE SKA-BOY IN A PARCEL!
NAME CHANGE
Seeing as in my last letter WLW saw fit to change the last word of my name from Insanity to Insania, I have decided to keep it that way, because I think it is cool. And it makes me sound like a Peter Andre fan. Or Jordan!
I hasten to add that I am neither. You here me? Neither!
Me and my Insania
One doth protest too loudly
THAT IS YOU, ISN'T IT, JORDAN?
EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL
While your musical tastes are as questionable as the day is long, I can't fault your choice of soaps!
I've been a devoted Family Affairs viewer for many years now, and it provides great entertainment without resorting to dodgy regional stereotypes or eye-candy over storylines.
Hollyoaks, on the other hand, is for imbeciles.
Norman Radcliffe
Hollyoaks makes Family Affairs
LOOK LIKE SHAKESPEARE
