The Mega-Zine Museum
November 2, 2004
SPIKY STUY Briggie's gone quiet. Is he in Iraq do you think? No, Watford.
HOWLLIN' PETE Does anyone even know who I am? Yes, but I wish I didn't at the moment.
NUMBERTHREE Jekyll & Hyde — that book is only 78 pages long, and yet it's regarded as a classic. What a whizz. It makes you realise anything is possible. Wasn't that a Will Young song? Ahh...
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
- I had several techno hits in the 90s.
- There's no limits
- No, no limits
- No, no limits
Oops, got myself confused with 2Unlimited again...
Norman Radcliffe
I liked that one, it went: No, No,
NO, NO. CATCHY IN A NEGATIVE WAY
STUY, SPIKY STUY
Wouldn't Stuy make a great James Bond? Girls pretend to like him but are either using him or evil and he always says things which are corny. And he has cool gadgets (the internet).
Briggie can even be Q (he's old), Emma-the-lil'-Angel can be Moneypenny.
I'll be the bad guy with a funny name who is threatening to steal something (jokes) and WLW can be my assistant (by the way, I'll need a cat).
Paddy Irishman
"Assistant"? Pah!
I'LL LEND YOU MOGGY MEDULA THOUGH
WATFORD
Before I start — WLW, respect to you for liking crumpets, I would shake your hand/hoof, but you lack the thumbs.
In other news, I bought a nice, stupidly-tight emo polo shirt in a charity shop for 50p yesterday, before laughing at the unfortunately placed naked mannequin.
The guy who sells the Big Issue called me and my friend nutters.
Ahh, good times.
He Who Loves To Skank
I always considered thumbs very
OVERRATED ACTUALLY. SHAKE MY HOOF!
HOW FAST?!
I'm in Chippenham Library typing this message on a computer. Also in the library is arguably the fastest typist ever. Well she's the speediest I've ever seen.
So I thought I'd check out what she was actually doing. Looking at her screen, I am surprised it doesn't just read "ahsjdkgevcjvchs hefajan"!
Incredible. Are any 'Ziners fast typists? I can type 60 real words per-minute, including a few typos!
DJ Dave
I'm fast but as I don't have thumbs
EVERY 4TH AND 7TH WORD IS A TYPO
TOWNIE TIM - EPISODE #1
| TIM: | OOOOooooo. |
| MARTY: | Are you feeling okay, Tim? |
| TIM: | Amie girl. Girl hot. Tim like. |
| MARTY: | You should go speak to her. |
| TIM: | (Walks over to Amie) |
| AMIE: | .... |
| TIM: | OOOoooooo! |
| AMIE: | What the hell!? You're weird! |
| TIM: | OOOOOOooo. |
| AMIE: | (Amie runs away) |
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
I'm sorry to add to your distress
BUT WHAT KINDA CHAT-UP LINE IS OOOH?
FILMS THAT WERE BOOKS
I just have to say that whoever thought up that idea is stupid. I don't see the point of turning a really good book (or even an OK book — I'm thinking Harry Potter here) into an absolutely dreadful film — again thinking of the Harry Potter films.
Perhaps this letter should be called "The rubbish that is Harry Potter films" or something to that effect.
Lone Wolfe
A simple yet effective suggestion:
DON'T READ BOOK, DON'T SEE FILM
UNCLE CAVEMAN
When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman.
After school we'd all go and play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us.
It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
Lord Charles
Yes, I met your uncle once. I shook
HIM BY THE PAW WITH MY 'HOOF'
