The Mega-Zine Museum
July 18, 2004
YEAHYEAHYEAH Who did your hair, WLW? Want me to help you get revenge on them? How dare you come here insulting my hair! Yours isn't so hot yourself.
PLUGHOLE FANTASY Does anyone else here like Mario Lanza?... nope, just me, then? Strange people we get here.
LORD CHARLES In my house on the ceilings, I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. Clever, eh? But what about all that money you store in the loft?
SARCASM
I'm the most sarcastic person on the planet. Even more so than you, WLW!
Sarcasm is said to be the lowest form of wit but I always say that you need a lot of wit to be sarcastic, so therefore is the highest form of wit.
Wouldn't you agree, WLW?
The Tartan Thistle
It's not the wit that counts
IT'S WHERE YOU AIM IT
TOP 10 PEOPLE I KNOW AND WHY
- Spiky Stuy (why does everyone dislike him?)
- Insane Jam Sow (farewell friend!)
- WLW (OK, WLW needs some credit!)
But when I got to this point, I decided that everyone else was odd anyway.
And while on the subject of titles, I award myself most inwardly insane. I don't show it on the outside, unlike the rest of you outwardly insaners.
Lalalalalalalalalalala
You mean we've met?
WAS IT YOU IN THE BLUE PANTS?
DELETE AS APPROPRIATE
I thought I'd help the newbies with a generic letter for them all to use. It'll just be more organised for them:
"Dear WLW,
I am a newbie and I (love/hate) you. I will (send you lots of Jaffa Cakes/attack you with my army of magic badgers).
Aren't I just so (crazy/zany/random) because I say words in no particular order?"
Thank you for your time.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic
Ah, a 'Zine manual
I COULD CHARGE AND EVERYTHING
UTTER BOREDOM
Boredom, the greatest downfall of a human in a bath,
I bet you think I'm 'avin' a laugh,
But then I s'pose that you don't know the 'alf,
Since you're a giraffe,
In your pink and cucumber scarf.
Samwise Boffin of Whitfurrows
Yes I'm a giraffe and I like cucumber
BUT I CAN'T SING LIKE SMANFER MUMBA
A NOTE FOR ALL
Firstly, I did not mean that newbies are bad. I meant that I was bad.
Secondly, self-deprecation is the only sport I am good at.
Thirdly, I realise I could be worse. I could be Spiky Stuy.
Citizen Twiggy
If Spiky was in Big Brother
HE'D BE MORE POPULAR THAN AHMED
GARDENER'S WORLD
On a Friday night, I really feel a certain bond with this programme. I am not sure why.
But then I have lost the will to live ever since I finished my GCSEs and have had absolutely nothing to do other than watch daytime TV. Such joys of Trisha are not to be missed!
And I have another confession. I cried during Third Watch when Carlos gave his daughter away. The sadnosity of life.
Supa Dupa Carrot
There's only one Trisha
PATRON SAINT OF STUDENTS
THE DELOREAN THAT GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
Am I right in thinking that your first name is Martin, and that you live in Manchester? It seems that you have written a Top Ten letter to Ace.
If so, why is 'Zine, the king of Teletext pages, only second? And do you, like me, read 'Zine and then subsequently press the red button and see what comes up?
I Can Believe It's Not Butter
Yes, I was a bit miffed about second
SILVER'S NO GOOD, GIVE ME GOLD
