The Mega-Zine Museum
July 4, 2004
DOPEY DORA Don't take any notice of what people say, WLW. I don't think you're stupid, and neither does my pet wasp. What kind of music does he listen to? Sting?
THEUNITEDTRUTH What exactly do you do with table cream? You applaud it — give it three chairs.
MERCY NUTS Jam Sow, I don't see anything insane about you. Please explain. Madness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
THE NEVER ENDING EGO
This is the ego that never ends.
Yes it goes on and on my friends,
Some day it started exploding and didn't know when to stop,
So cynics will complain till the ego starts to rot,
This is the ego that never ends.
Citizen Twiggy
If it does explode, he'll have
EGO ON HIS FACE
BAGGY TROUSERS
Some new clothes through the catalogue came through today. Either I've shrunk or the clothes have doubled in size.
Included are some 4ft long jeans, and some new pyjamas, which despite being of identical brand/size to a previous pair, could comfortably house three medium-sized labradors.
Oh, and I got a pair of size 8 women's sandals. Too small for my cross-dressing tendencies.
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller
I get angry when my socks are odd
IS THAT CROSS DRESSING?
SAUSAGES
I was trying to think of a colour the other day for my sister and all that would come into my head was the word sausage.
I mean, what colour is sausage? Is it brown or pink or what?
Anyway I eventually came up with blue.
The New Newbie
Why is your sister a sausage?
DOES SHE TELL PORKIES?
WOW
I've been to the 'Zine website and I must say Insane Jam Sow has done a wonderful job.
Therefore, I've come back to win back the heart of Laura Herself.
Whats that? She's gone? Oh well, back to the corn field.
Livid On the Edge
So was this letter a
POSTCARD FROM THE EDGE?
LES PRETEND
A great character from the Beano. Basically, he pretended to be people and stuff. He had an imagination. Is that so bad, really? I don't think so.
You can jive off all you want with your flash trousers and fancy house, I know the truth.
In conclusion: pretending good; stalking bad.
Topper
If you were a Beano character —
WHOM WOULD YOU BE?
CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?
I have been reading 'Zine for some time and have begun to find myself becoming strangely attracted to Spiky Stuy.
I find his incredible arrogance and vanity strangely seductive. We would make such a good couple. We could go tree hugging and race trolleys round supermarkets together.
Oh how much fun we could have. That is, if he isn't too busy looking in mirrors.
Illegally Blonde
He's not written in for a while
ARE YOU OUT THERE, STUY?
NEVER SATISFIED
Jennifer Aniston is married to Brad Pitt but still she oggles various men in the Barclays advert.
I vote she leaves some men for the rest of us, it's only fair. I bagsy the bloke she met in the bookshop.
Stella's (ex)soulmate
Well, she just lost five Friends
— SHE NEEDS SOME NEW ONES
