The Mega-Zine Museum
June 22, 2004
SAMWISE BOFFIN OF WHITFURROWS Do! Do! Do! The Funky Gibbon. Give me a rhesus.
THE ALMIGHTY YOMAGUF No more exams. I am a free bird. I can fly along the windy coasts until some hunter shoots me down and I end up on someone's dinner plate. Wow, what an analogy of life. Maybe you can leave a dropping on your teacher's head?
MERCY NUTS Act like a big guy, tip like a little guy, type like a teepee. My friend sells tents: Guy Ropes.
GIVE HIM A BREAK
Can I make it clear that Spiky Stuy is not totally reviled on these pages. I think he's sweet and have no desire to see him tarred, feathered or anything else of a medieval torture-like state.
Please, I must appeal to your better natures, compassion or whatever else that passes for a heart in you people — leave the poor lad alone!
Anne Diamond's Hot Pants and Hat Ensemble
I hereby declare an amnesty on Stuy
SO PLEASE CEASE YOUR FIRE
SMARTIE-PANTS
The other day, me and my friend decided to go to the movies. So we went to Woolworths to get a pick'n'mix and discovered the large tub of Smarties.
So naturally, we stood there for half-an-hour picking out blue smarties and filling the tub with them.
We're not mad in the slightest, are we?
Miss Tick
Not at all. You sound a real
PAIR OF SMARTIES...
WHY HAVING BLACK HAIR ROCKS
- Amy Lee looks great with it.
- You can pretend you are a witch and frighten off pesky little kids.
- Nits never show.
- Black goes with everything.
- My husband Adam owns it... sort of. His is dark brown, but hey...
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
Adam's hair is black?
LUCKY IT'S NOT MAROON...
SPECIAL AWARD
I'm awarding a merit badge to The Blue Banana.
Anyone who can write a letter about the colour of turnips that can cause such an emotional response from other 'Ziners must have exceptional talents.
Quality Control
Who is the best 'Ziner cook?
SPIKEY STEW...
ROMEO AND JULIET
We have to watch this in English and it would be really dramatic if it just didn't have Leonardo DiCaprio in it.
I just find it hard to take him seriously, especially when speaking in olde English.
It was the same for Titanic. Why is he allowed to make films?
The New Newbie
Yes, but he was good in The Beach
CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE
EASY MONEY
There's a magazine that prints stupid things people say, at a tenner a time.
You said something that could earn us £10, WLW: "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and also the most effective." They're bound to print that.
We'll split the fee right down the middle. That's £7 for me and £3 for you, OK?
Roger Dodger
Young man, I want a word with
YOUR MATHS TEACHER!
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF WLW
- "Tennis is a load of balls" — not very original. Used by children all over the country since 1951.
- "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and also the most effective" — original. No-one else has been stupid enough to use it. Not to be confused with "The amoeba is the lowest form of life and also the most intelligent".
AWOL
Also a man's best friend is his dog
IF HE'S A VERY LONELY MAN
