The Mega-Zine Museum
May 31, 2004
EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL How big is Ant McPartlin's forehead? I bet you a fiver I can abseil down it. We're not taking bets here.
ARRANT NERD BOXES YODELLER Note to self: You are not a surfer. Stop calling everybody "dude". That's right. Get tough.
TWO OLD TEABAGS Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Good question.
OW, THE PAIN
There should be a warning on these baggy jeans: "do not attempt to dance to Kings of Leon while wearing these."
I was inocently shaking my groove thang when I got my foot caught in the hem of my jeans, landed on my bum, and now have the bigest bruise.
A warning to you people: be careful when you dance, if you still want to sit down afterwards.
Captain Sparrow's Dredlocks
Warning noted
THE O.C.
He-hey! I whole heartedly agree with that DeLorean who got struck by an unfortunate meteorological event.
The O.C. is superb! It may be slightly shallow, but who could resist liking that amiable cheeky chappy Seth?
And as for Summer and Marissa, you can leave me to drool now...
He Who Loves To Skank
We love Ryan here
FOOTBALL HAS GONE HOME!
So the FA Cup is finally over. Fantastic. Now I can finally go about my daily business without morons going on about football all the time.
Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike football but it does grate on me.
I need to watch my back, don't I?
Anti-Social Socialist
It's only over until Euro 2004...
JUNK MAIL, GRRRRRR
Such a vicious circle. It starts with letters, then you get e-mails, then you get text messages, where does it end?
WLW, make it stop with your powers, or, failing that, at least make them understand I'm not a bloke!
TheUnitedTruth
Aren't you a bloke?
I'VE SEEN BETTER ATTEMPTS
Farmer Jack and Topper, cease and desist. I am tired of your mundane domination of the world.
Hence, I am unleashing my mutant cabbages and my vast army of genetically modified Monopoly Chance Cards to ward off your invasion.
We will soon see it is I who am destined to rule the world. Mwahahaha. Sniff.
Marilyn Mason
Oh no — cabbage attack!
DEAR SANTA
I know it's early, but as I'm a valued customer, I'm sure you won't mind.
Today, I saw a Pioneer 600 watt Hi-Fi. It's really pretty and I really want it. Trouble is I'm £800 short. Is there any chance you can help?
Failing that, I'll just have to dip into the swear jar. Again.
Farmer Jack
You're way too early
CONFUSION
Why is it that oranges are called oranges? I mean if every fruit was called by its colour, it would be mayhem.
But what about apples? Would they be called reds or greens? Or greds? Or reens?
Don't even get me started on pineapples.
The Lightning Lady
Fruity talk!
