The Mega-Zine Museum
April 30, 2004
HUMDRUM It's raining, and it isn't even summer yet. Do you never go out? It always rains in this country.
SOME NAME I DON'T KNOW HP Baaxter? You think Scooter are the best band around? You are at least 100% wrong, mate. I am inclined to agree.
STEEL CAPPED My toes don't swear, but they can give you an almighty kick up the backside. Actions speak louder than words. Bit of a sore point, that one is, I can tell.
THINGS I DID THIS WEEK
- Dyed my hair blue.
- Left my tiara on the train.
- Watched Neighbours in the afternoon.
Being unemployed rocks!
Silence Of The World
If it means getting a blue rinse
I'M GLAD TO HAVE A JOB
CBEEBIES ADVERT SHOCKER!
OMG! There is a CBeebies advert which shows heads like space hoppers and the song Where's Your Heads At in some foreign language. There is a breakdancing teddy bear and it has a chocolate starfish!
I nearly died!
New New Model
Now there's an incentive
TO TUNE IN
LANYARDS
New New Model, although you do lose points for knowing the technical name for those daft bits of string, I totally agree that it's just sad to dangle your mobile off the end of one!
My "friend" does it, and the only reason I can think of is that (with mobiles being so small nowadays) they're for retrieval purposes should anyone accidentally inhale their phone during a conversation.
Any other ideas?
Magical Me
To make it easier for
THIEVES TO STEAL THEM?
THINGS I HAVE DISCOVERED ABOUT GOOGLE
- A seven-piece cello orchestra piece exists called Ode To The Lemon. You can convert it all to Pig Latin, Elmer Fudd language and many many more.
- I am a Kentuckian family lawyer, a bakery and someone who will show you how to staple new coverings to chairs.
- Whoever invented it must be laughing at how much money he/she is getting.
Hydrophobic Fish
I'd go googled over
THAT PAY CHEQUE
PLOP
The rain it raineth on the just,
and also on the unjust, fella
But mostly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just's umbrella
The Hanging Judge
Better still
STAY IN AND PRAY FOR SUN
MADNESS OF KIDS TV
Let us consider the facts of the programmes such as Tractor Tom and Bob the Builder.
If trucks/cars/cement mixers really spoke to humanity, wouldn't the human race go beserk and think Terminator was inevitable?
Surely this logistic should be recognised in said programmes.
Marilyn Mason
Bob The Builder
HE UNDERSTANDS
THE SWIFT DECLINE OF THE TAXI DRIVER
Whatever happened to the chatty cab driver, the awkward but affable guy who would charm you with stories of how they once drove a minor royal or star of a moderately popular soap opera?
Now you've got skinheads who will talk illegally on their mobile while driving and not say a word at all, not even to ask where you're going.
The Wonky Gnome
Recently one shouted at me for
GIVING HIM THE EXACT MONEY!
