The Mega-Zine Museum
April 19, 2004
BATMAN'S TWIN If there was a 'Zine party, it would be fancy dress and everyone could come as themselves. I could wear my new shoes.
THE BENIGHTED BUDGERIGAR How do you spell chrysanthemums? Bah, forget it, I'll get rhododendrons instead. She'll never know the difference. That's why I always pick daisies.
GROUCHO I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. Jealous, are ya?
GENUINE SCHOOL QUOTES
- "It's always best to ask before opening windows, especially when ladies are present" — French supply teacher.
- "I have just found this young lady with her mouth entwined with another young man's"! — My head of house (whoops).
I'm glad I got out when I did.
Hog Nosed Skunk Flea
Sounds a lot more fun
THAN MY SCHOOL WAS
INDIVIDUALISM AND MOI
'Ziners on the most part claim to be individual. When you say Glasgow is full of down-to-earth people you make a generalisation of the city as a whole.
If that is true then I'm an individual that's clear to see because there is only one Spiky Stuy.
Most people from this city look the same, I stand out because I look good.
Spiky Stuy
If it helps you sleep at night
BELIEVE IT
AN ODE TO THE LEAD SINGER OF MAROON 5
Adam Levine, you are divine,
With a smile so cute and a face so fine,
Even though I love Char,
And he owns a cool car,
I still wanna make you mine.
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
This Love...
NEW SINGLE. DON'T KNOW THE WORDS
MUSIC MILITANTS
I've learned something — the more bland the music, the more militant the music fan.
Pop fans try to justify their tastes by shouting that they're great, Busted fans do wholesale invasions of places that don't like them, such as here, and the less said about Jamie Cullum fans the better.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic
There's no hope for
CULLUM APPRECIATORS
COOKING WITH PELLE
Pickled egg:
- Get a brand name low-fat spread box.
- Remove brand name spread.
- Fill with brand name vinegar.
- Add egg (put on lid).
- Put somewhere FAR AWAY and marinade for four days.
- Not throw at house of your choice.
Howllin' Pelle
I do not endorse
THROWING AT HOUSES
THE SUPREME RULER OF CEREALS
It is a well known fact that Bran Flakes rule but there has been an outbreak of Corn Flake supporters recently and I am here to put a stop to that.
Bran Flakes rule, so na na nana na.
Charlie's Eyebrows
Not too many bowls though
OR YOU'RE NEVER OFF THE LOO
THINGS TO DO ON A FARM
- Hide a needle in your sleeve, root around in a haystack, then pull out the needle and yell: "I found it!"
- Tell the hens they are fired.
- Convince the cows to form a workers union.
- Get up early to judge the cockerel's cries, Simon Cowell style.
The Yodelling Squirrel
Alternatively breathe in the
LOVELY COUNTRY AIR. AHEM
