The Mega-Zine Museum
February 7, 2004
MISS SNAZ Why do you type things up, but write things down? Because the keys on my computer are so high.
JUST ANOTHER ZOOM LOLLY As this is technically a letter to 'Zine, is it small enough to rival quality control letters that make it on page 1? It would seem so.
GUFFO1 Franz Ferdinand — Take Me Out. I guess Gavrilo Princip got the wrong meaning. Depends where you want to get taken really.
PANCAKES
I made pancakes on Sunday. I got syrup on my jeans. This morning I wanted to wear my jeans.
I removed aforementioned syrup with help of a nail brush and soap. I dried my jeans with an ickle diddy heater.
I missed a bit. I still have syrup on my jeans.
Squidgy Lobster
I made pancakes on Saturday
AND DIDN'T WASTE A DROP
A POEM ABOUT BLACK SABBATH
This isn't about a horror movie,
This is a homage to visionaries,
Hailing from Birmingham you see,
Came four men giving the heebie jeebies,
To heavy metal audiences,
From pub to club to stadium,
All through the 1970s,
And beyond.
Luco El Loco
That was a
RUBBISH POEM
J20
It's remarkable that putting fancy fruit juice in a glass bottle and selling it next to the alcopops makes this drink so popular. Us teetotallers may as well just take a carton of Kia Ora to the pub for the difference in content.
Oh, well. Either way, I don't end up feeling ill, getting lost, or kissing the statue of a bronze bull in the Bullring centre.
Insane Jam Sow
Kissing statues is great fun
OR TALKING TO THEM...
KEANE!
Ed the Demented Squirrel, I must say that you have a most congenial taste in music. First you mention the great Franz Ferdinand, who got big since you wrote the message, and now you mention the splendid Keane!
It is good to know that I am not the only 'Ziner with a penchant for their accomplished piano anthems.
All hail Keane!
The Wonky Gnome
I'm a keen golfer
NO, I'M NOT REALLY
HEY BILLIE PIPER, YOU COOL
| BILLIE: | "So, if you'll just bear with me Stuttercut." (Billie empties her head of reasonable thought and starts) |
| BILLIE: | "Do you have a girlfriend? You're looking real cool! Can I have your number?" |
| STUTTERCUT: | "I'm gonna have to stop you there Bill, now get off my property." (Stuttercut gestures to sharpened sticks) |
| BILLIE: | "Oh, I see..." |
Stuttercut
You know the words to a Billie song!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WONDERINGNESS
Dear Wuh-Luh-Wuh, I was just wondering if you could settle an argument for me.
You know Spikey Stuy? My "friends" (I've fallen out with them now over this argument) have ludicrously suggested that it's pronounced "Stewey", "Stuww" or "Stew".
But I'm pretty darn sure it's pronounced "Cheesebrough". I'm right, aren't I?
Borderer Boy
No. Your friends are
THEY SHOULD TRADE YOU IN
PRINCESS PSYCHO'S RANTINGS
With regards to Princess Psycho's demented ravings about me, dissing my girlfriend is rather low — given that I have really good blackmail material on her.
For example, she tucked her skirt into her knickers and walked around in the tutorial for 20 minutes in that state.
The Nice Guy in Princess Psycho's Class
That old chestnut
ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION...
