The Mega-Zine Museum
February 4, 2004
THEUNITEDTRUTH I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. Shame you didn't run out of stamps at the same time.
STALKING MYSELF I've just come out the closet! But unfortunately, I tripped over the bed, so if anyone's passing my house, could you please come in and give me a hand up? Can't be bothered.
THE ALL-KNOWING LAVATORY BRUSH Pudding... Who agrees? I always have room for pud.
A COUPLE REPLIES
To Sacred Grapes: I tried your new game, whereby one tells a stranger they were in their class, etc. I am now nursing a black eye, broken ribs and bruises! Totally worth it though!
To The All-Knowing Lavatory Brush: It is possible to expect the unexpected — you can expect something unexpected to happen, but not know precisely what the unexpected is, in which case the unexpected remains unexpected, even though you're expecting it.
Frodo Mercury the Hobbit Warrior
Aren't you the all-knowing
ALL-ANSWERING TYPE TODAY
DEAR MR WLW
This e-mail contains a virus, which will report the contents of your hard drive back to me, so I can see who you are and what you get up to.
It will then go on to do something horrible, possibly infecting you in the process. Symptoms of this will be a runny nose and severe headaches.
And here comes the feedback now... goodness... well... I've never seen a giraffe doing that before!
Insane Jam Sow
It's all above board
I GOT PERMISSION. HONEST
MILLENIUM BRA WONDER DOME
Ahh, the Wonderbra. In my opinion, quite similar to the Millenium Dome: impressive from the outside, but not much to see once you get inside.
My apologies to all the female 'Ziners.
OK, I admit it, this letter was just an excuse to hug TheUnitedTruth, Emma the Lil' Angel and Princess Psycho.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
You'll get a slap not a hug if you say
THEY'VE NOT MUCH INSIDE
YOU KNOW THE WEATHER'S BAD WHEN...
- The dog doesn't want walking.
- You live anywhere near Manchester.
- Your digital TV reception is rubbish.
- It's January.
- You can hear it.
Maffoo
Or you work in a glass building
LIKE THE TOWERS
BEING BLONDE
Someone called me a dumb blonde today. Which was very annoying.
So in defence of all blondes out there, we aren't ALL dumb and when we rule the world you'll all regret being so evil as you work in our sulphur mines. Hahaha!
You can be my first adviser, WLW, because you have some sense.
Queen of the Elbow
Hair colour makes no difference
BALD PEOPLE ARE STILL COOL
THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE NEWS EVER
I have recently been made aware that there are, in fact, some Norwich City supporters in existence. I was under the impression that nobody supported them, the worst team ever.
So I would like to send my condolences to these poor, poor deluded individuals and I can only hope that they will soon see the light and support the greatest team in the world — Ipswich Town.
Sykopathik Mushroom
Greatest team in the world — Arsenal
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY?
BERRE
To that dude who didn't know what "berre" meant, it means "very".
And the "yogi" bear thing isn't even that funny. Get over your townie/trendy/trev bashin' selves!
Oh, and while I'm here, Topper is BERRE heavy, man, he's totally wicked-kool.
Freakyhunny
I saw a prime townie specimen
AT THE TRAIN STATION TODAY. I RAN
