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October 5, 2003

CHOCOLATE ME Save me from the peril of thought WLW — it makes my brain ache. Join the club.

DISCO DANCING CHIMPANZEE Liver is possibly the most vile thing ever. It looks, smells, sounds, feels and tastes disgusting. Euch! Euch! Euch! What more can I say? Agreed. Foul.

THE BRIGADIER What is bling? What does bling bling mean? Does one bling in the bathroom? I don't want to know what you do in the bathroom, thanks.

 

CRISPS

The Asparagus Man was wondering just who decided what colour to colour crisp packets?

Why are Ready Salted crisps red? Why are Salt'n'Vinegar crisps blue? Why are Cheese'n'Onion crisps green?

And why did Walkers decide to buck the trend and reverse the colours of their Salt'n'Vinegar and Cheese'n'Onion crisps? Listen to Iron Maiden.

The Asparagus Man

Walkers just confused me when

THEY CAME INTO THE GAME

 

SUNDAY

If the music charts are counted at the end of Saturday's sales and new releases are released on Monday, what happens to the Sunday sales?

Do the Sunday sales count? Or do the new releases have a one-day disadvantage?

Hairy Severed Toe

Sunday counts

RIGHT UP 'TIL CHART ANNOUNCED

 

COLOUR SCHEME

I have a question about the new colour scheme. If you are a giraffe, and the thing in the corner was yellow and black (I know giraffes are yellow and brown), then was it you? If so, do you now have frostbite?

Also, whatever happened to Concrete Donkey and The 12th Lemon, and has anyone noticed it has been months since Briggie wrote in?

Strawberry Beetle

The heating has broke down

I NEED A NEW COAT

 

THAT NEW-FANGLED RAP THING

I don't get what the attraction to it is. All it is is people talking to each other about guns and girls and other such mumbo-jumbo.

Personally, I find it very impolite to be talking while somebody else is playing a piece of music. Do these people have no manners?

They should be listening to the music and savouring it, not talking over the top of it. Personally, I prefer the Spice Girls!

Me and My Digitally Enhanced Self

I don't think rap is that new

ARE YOU BRIGGIE IN DISGUISE?

 

OUR LANGUAGE IS RUBBISH — PART 1

  • The bandage was wound around the wound.
  • The farm was used to produce produce.
  • The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

The Delorean That Got Struck By Lightning

Bet your English teacher

LOVES YOU

 

CUTE PHRASES FOR UNBLOCKING THE TOILET

  • Opening up the wounded flea
  • Pumping up the scrag hole
  • Freeing the fruitfly
  • Feeding jellybabies to the ungrateful shrew
  • Tending the flock of angry apples

Mercy Nuts

Genius

YOU REALLY ARE

 

COMPLICATED

I found those instructions on how to jump a bit complicated. Could you possibly repeat them in simplified form with diagrams?

And could you also provide some special instructions on how to do it while wearing high heels?

Bored Supermodel

I doubt there's enough blocks for

ME TO MAKE THE PICTURES