The Mega-Zine Museum
August 11, 2003
THE ONE WITH LITTLE SIGNIFICANCE It's a simple question of weight ratios: a five ounce sparrow could not carry a one pound coconut. Been watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then?
ME AND MY DIGITALLY-ENHANCED SELF Cats and washing machines don't mix well, not even on the delicates setting. Cats get revenge. Please don't remind Mavis of that day she nearer carked it.
THE GEEK WHO SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH Now I know how that roast chicken felt. I hate this hot weather.
POSSIBLE FUTURES/ENDINGS FOR BRIGGIE
- He inherits a stout brewery.
- He discovers he is the father of Fred Durst.
- He wanders into the Playboy mansion grounds.
- He is actually super intellectual and is going to conquer WLW Towers. (A bit like Doofy in Scary Movie).
- WLW wakes up and it was all a dream. Briggie doesn't actually exist.
Xena: Lollipop Lady
I'm hoping for the last one
WHO DO I NEED TO PAY?
BALAMORY
I do not know if any of you are aware of the television joy that is: Balamory. True, it may be a kid's show on CBeebies but it is truly wonderful.
Bright colours, singing and Spencer the American painter who only wears orange.
Come, all fellow 'Ziners, and join me in my love of all things Balamory!
Jan of The Pink Gravy
Spencer sounds my kinda guy
ORANGE FAN MUST LIKE JAFFA CAKES
MY ABSENCE
I shall be away for a while because I'm going to Wales where they do not know what a sun is and the sheep supposedly look worried. But don't worry. Just a week and I'll be back.
Oh, and DJ Dave, I was all set to thank you for mentioning me when I read on and found out you were criticising me because of that stupid song that you like.
Well, at least I have good taste in music.
Satan's Little Helper
There's no escaping the sun
EVEN IN WALES RIGHT NOW
AINSLEY BECKONS?
Wild Thang and I are going to fulfil our greatest ambition (well, my greatest ambition if I'm honest).
We have applied to appear on Ready Steady Cook! Yes, really.
Now I have the embarrassing scene of Ainsley spoon-feeding me to thousands of viewers.
Anyway WLW, help me decide, what shall I be? A green pepper or a delicous red tomato?
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
I'm torn but green pepper is calling
FANCIER SHAPE FOR YOUR APRON
I'M BACK!
I've returned from Scotland and despite seeing deer, seals and eagles it was all worth nothing due to one fact — no Teletext! We had some some of Sky Text but it was mightily confusing.
So, what did I miss? Briggie put an end to his port-fuelled life? Samurai Hedgehog got a fan club?
Did anyone even miss me? Hello? Anyone?
Mr Self Destruct
You must have been in a posh hotel
SKY TEXT! WE'RE NOT WORTHY
A LITTLE POEM, BY MYSELF
I want to go to Sweden,
I want to very much,
Because of all the lovely Swedes,
And turnips, and such.
The 12th Lemon
Lots of blonde people
AND CHIRPY POP MUSIC
FREEZERS AND INTERNET BILLS
Hello again. I am in my friend's house feeding her cats while she suns herself in Greece.
I was having a sneaky (hungry) moment so snuck to her freezer to "borrow" an ice cream. Unfortunately, she had removed them prior to my visit.
As revenge, I am running up a massive internet bill. Heh heh heh.
The Magenta Frog
Remind me never to get you to
LOOK AFTER THE TOWERS
