The Mega-Zine Museum
August 4, 2003
THEUNITEDTRUTH Oh, the irony. A Girls Aloud member wearing a top stating "Rock Queen". Haha, excuse me while I go get my sides reinforced before they split. Maybe she just likes climbing.
BIG BOB FLAPPER I wonder why The Beatles split up? Answers on a postcard to the usual address...
ME AND MY DIGITALLY ENHANCED SELF We just be dreamin'? No, we just be getting Blazin' Squad some English lessons, I think! You wouldn't guess they have 66 GCSEs between them.
NAUGHTY
I hear Chester from Linkin Park needs an operation because he feels sick every time he sings.
Strange, I feel sick when he sings too.
Hahahahahahahaha, oh, that was cruel — I've been a naughty boy again.
Spiky Stuy
Oi, I like Chester!
AND DON'T BASH A SICK PERSON
MY AUNTIE
My auntie appears to be going senile. She keeps calling me Mark, which is my dad's name.
Considering my dad is middle-aged, bald, weighs 15 stone, and resembles me in no way, getting me confused with him is quite worrying to say the least.
In fact, I think the old folks' home is calling for her. My auntie is 37, by the way.
Samurai Hedgehog
Perhaps she just wishes your dad
REPLACE YOU IN HER SITTING ROOM
NOOOOOO
I'm afraid The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin has got it wrong. Despite the contents of one of my letters, I do indeed adore Manic Street Preachers.
You would not have been confused if WLW hadn't cruelly edited away the P.S. of "I really really love the Manics".
To prove it, I could now quote the entirety of The Holy Bible... but I won't.
The Torture Garden
I'd rather read the Bible than
ANY MORE OF YOUR BLEATING ON
BARNEY!
Yes, I too remember the dog who looked like the Dulux dog. His name was Barney. He had a friend who was a mouse. The mouse seemed to live in his fur. It's not like TV these days. I wonder how any child grows up with a sense of humour now.
Does anyone remember Bucky O'Hare? He was green, came from Warren and had a spaceship.
No? Just me then.
Punk Kitty
Kids like Blazin' Squad
THEY MUST BE HAVING A LAUGH!
BACK FROM HOLS
So my big sister is back from her back-packing holiday in Asia where she got flashed by a eunuch in India. She also found that Jeffrey Archer novels are a suitable replacement for loo roll and is looking forward to his new novel next time she's got bad guts.
Well, I'm on hols in New Orleans next week to stock up on my voodoo supplies and then fill the hotel pool with piranhas again.
Princess Psycho
I need a holiday
PLEASE SOMEONE DONATE ONE...
A LITTLE ABOUT ME...
I have eventually left the teenage years behind me (hoorah!), I'm still a student, and I love old piano music!
Forget all this modern claptrap, who likes Mrs Mills, Russ Conway and Winifred Atwell? I do, I do!
"Matron, we may have another Brigadier in the making..."
Bye for now!
O.B.M.T
Briggie # 2?!
I NEED TO LIE DOWN
ANGER!
It's a fix! Every week, I try the competition on Sauce. Every week I fail.
Why? It tells you to submit your answers on a pc and post it off.
I can't get a computer into the postbox. I even wrote the answer on a laptop and STILL couldn't post it!
It's fixed!
Annoying Little Brother
Sauce writer Karen Hyland
SELLS THE PRIZES DOWN THE MARKET
