The Mega-Zine Museum
July 28, 2003
EMMA THE LIL'ANGEL Like it says on my T-shirt: Life's too short to dance with ugly men. Oh, so true. Ugly people full stop. They're better at conversation.
PURPLE FRUIT MUNCHING ELEPHANT It has come to my notice that Britney Spears needs to be moved and made to live at one of the poles. She does nothing but take up my valid Hollywood space. Like a pole at Stringfellows?
THE GIRL AT HER OWN WORLD I used to eat paper. Spiders can be cool. Spiders are never anything but evil.
MY COUSIN
I think it's time I draw your attention to the plight of a young woman, struggling through life with a terrible problem.
Yes, it's my cousin Hannah, who is suffering from a terrible disease that makes her think Orlando Bloom is attractive.
Please, WLW, send round someone who can snap her out of it!
Anne Diamond's Hot Pants and Hat Ensemble
Quick round up at the Towers...
HE IS VERY SEXY INDEED THEY SAY
REVENGE?
Magnum has just brought out a new Sin Bar — Revenge.
Revenge is not a deadly sin! The seven deadly sins are gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and wrath. Not revenge.
Magnum's ignorance disturbs me. Don't you agree, WLW?
Tarantino Squirrel
Who cares when the ice cream
TASTES SO DEVILISH
NOW LISTEN TO ME...
Satan's Little Helper, how dare you slag off that radio station for playing Manic Monday. It's probably the best single ever released. I play it all the time when I'm on air.
Anyone else think Daniel Bedingfield looks like the lovechild of Scott from Emmerdale and Southampton striker James Beattle? The resemblance is all there in his cheeky face.
DJ Dave
Are you really a DJ?
I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL A PSEUDONYM
MOLLUSC ANALYSIS
One of the best things about studying AS archaeology is that when people ask you what sort of things you learn, you can describe mollusc analysis.
All it is is working out what type of environment existed in the past in a certain place by looking at the type of snails dug up.
But the name does have a certain ring to it, you have to admit.
The One With The Mighty Antlers
Not one that rolls off the tongue
I HAVE TO SAY
BRIGGIE'S EAR
I have important information. I have found Briggie's stolen prized car.
I was happily getting the bus to school when I suddenly saw it. It has just appeared near to my house. Never been there before, must be his.
It is the one with PORT 1 on the registration, right?
The One With No Real Brain
I hope no-one saw you
LETTING DOWN THE TYRES
FOUL TITLED SHOPS
During my daily perusal yesterday, Moon Monster in a Flying Wok wrote about a Shop called 99p Store + Food contending for the best shop title of the year.
Well, I'm sorry, but mine is, quite frankly, better. I used to live in Banbury in Oxfordshire and there was a shop called Mainly Toys And Gifts All For Under £15.
I am SO not joking.
Unable To Think Of A Funny Name
A sign that big must have cost
MORE THAN £15 TO PRINT!
CONFESSIONS
I own a Scooter record and quite like their music. If you don't, no-one is making you listen to them.
I also bought the 2lb for Harry Potter book and thought it was fantastic, although there could've been a better lead in to the sixth book and J K Rowling used the less awkward "dreamt" instead of "dreamed".
King Of The Telegraph Poles
I'm with you on Harry
AND WILL LET YOU OFF ON SCOOTER
