The Mega-Zine Museum
July 24, 2003
QUEEN BEE I'm the Queen of Page One and there is nothing you can do about it. (evil laugh). Enjoy it while it lasts and then you're forced to buzz off.
CHERRIES JUBILEE Apparently, you're meant to have your hair cut every six weeks. I haven't had mine cut in over a year. I'm also wearing odd socks. Hardcore. Crazy Monkey stylee. So long as it's washed regularly you'll be OK.
THE 12TH LEMON Lemons can't take this hot weather. They do all right if they're squeezed into a cool drink.
PARALLEL UNIVERSES
If there IS a parallel universe, does that mean that there's a Zine on that too? And if there's a Zine on that, does that mean there's another WLW that's a gay giraffe?
And if there's another gay giraffe does that mean that there's another Elusive Shadow writing a letter exactly the same as this one right now?
I'm afraid... very afraid...
The Elusive Shadow
We'll never know unless Davord
FIXES HIS SPACE ROCKET
POETRY CORNER
I love you Charlie from Busted,
Whenever I see you I'm flustered,
I can't think of nothing more,
Than to get you through my door,
So we can both share my love of custard!
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
You want to put custard
ON HIS EYEBROWS?! STICKY
FUN FRENCH PHRASES
- C'est une belle voiture, mais elle n'est pas tres fiable.
It's a nice car, but it's not very reliable. - Il y a un microbe qui traine.
There's a bug going round. - Est-ce que je peux exchanger ce pull? Il est trop petit.
Can I exchange this sweater? It's too small.
Me and My Digitally Enhanced Self
How do I ask for a
FRENCH FANCY? I WANNA KNOW NOW
DEAR MISTOFFELEES
I, too, remember the wonder that was Raggy Dolls. They were so great, with their little Raggy Dolls bus and the one that was called Backtofront who was totally back to front.
However, that is all I remember of it. Perhaps it wasn't as good as I made it sound before, but it was better than Playdays.
I always liked the one about the cartoon dog that looked like the dog from the Dulux paint adverts.
Satan's Little Helper
Theme tune: raggy dolls, raggy dolls,
DOLLS LIKE YOU AND ME? I'M NO DOLL
IT'S NOT A PIE!
As I was casually perusing the contents of the freezer the other day, I came across something which, quite frankly ticked me off!
Imagine this: lumps of rubbery-tasting fish floating in a cheesy sauce, topped with Smash.
The misguided Dr Frankenstein-esque creators of this gastronomical monstrosity had the cheek to call it a pie! It's not a pie! Pies have pastry!
The One and Only Magical Me
Custard and banana pie
MMMMMM
RAH!
Surreal moment of the day (true story): Sitting in my friend's garden this lovely summer's morning, spouting pirate dialect with him and his mother.
We also found a way to somehow relate everything we saw with pirates (I thought mums were meant to be normal).
Please tell me this is just a fad.
Arr me hearties, I bid ye farewell... NYARGH!
Zaganza
A mum with a pirate child
IS DEFINITELY NOT NORMAL
COURT CASE
WLW, I will take the position to represent you in court, and I would request that Topper be my co-counsel.
Also, I wish to bring a private prosecution against The Immortal Dead for wasting WLW's time.
Also, WLW, if you could pass on the cases of port and sherry to Briggie with my compliments along with the attached numbers of three willing ladies.
This case is won before it's started.
Phil the Demonic Spectre
I'm innocent I tells ya
INNNNOOOCCCCENT
