The Mega-Zine Museum
June 27—28, 2003
MATTHIAS MORTIMER ZULU So, the Klingon "Today is a good day to dye!" I hope he didn't go swimming afterwards.
SUPERNATURAL SWAN I bought S Club's Greatest Hits today — a blank CD. Good mirror though and less empty than the head of Rachel.
OWNER OF OLIVIA THE FISH What happens to all the letters that don't get printed? Do you laugh at them and throw them in the bin? Bin yes, laugh no. We'd use them if they were funny.
THE PROPER TERM IS SALOPIAN
Telford? Don't make me laugh, Fanta Flavoured Sheep.
I'm from Shrewsbury which makes me your natural enemy. Let the turf wars begin! No relegation jokes allowed.
Better go and feed my pet ferret now. Bye-bye!
Speedy the Dyspraxic Mouse
Fanta's ferreting around
FOR RETORTS NOW
IN TEN YEARS' TIME...
WLW will still be using his philosophical grey matter to think of witty responses,
Topper will have struck gold after selling the character Matt Fatt to Beano,
Insane Jam Sow's online record of all his posts will explode due to overcrowding,
Purple Punk will be the female vocalist in a cult punk band with Samurai Hedgehog on guitar and as for the Brigadier...
The Wonky Gnome
Who says I'm a he?
AND DON'T STOP WITHOUT BRIGGIE!
ULTIMATE GENETIC DISASTER
After much thought and watching of TV, I have found the Ultimate Genetic Disaster.
The formula is: David Baddiel + Howard from the Halifax ads = Jon Tickle from BB4.
Yep, that's right, the personality of Baddiel and the voice of Howard. Oh God help us all!
Sykopathik Mushroom
Worst of all
HE'LL PROBABLY GET HIS OWN TV SHOW
NO, YOU'RE NOT ALONE
I would just like to say to Jambonica the Psychic that I am from North London too! I come from the magical land of Enfield.
It's oh so beautiful here — you get these wonderful tall factories and the most exquisite supermarkets that sell a wide variety of cat food.
On the downside, it also has many plants with too much chlorophyll in them.
La Mooosh
The girl from Sauce went clubbing there
EXPLAINS HER STAREY EYES
OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN!
For the past couple of months, I've been having what can only be described as 'wrong feelings' for a close friend of mine.
The thing is, she has a boyfriend and, quite frankly, I'm jealous.
Do you think I should hit him over the head with a shovel and pay some guys to take him to Mexico?
Mr Robofish
Tell him she wants to get married
THEN WATCH HIM RUN LIKE THE WIND
DAY 25 IN THE BB HOUSE...
The excitement is mounting:
Tania is making toast, and spreads butter on one side, places toast on to a plate and proceeds to eat.
In the blue bedroom, Ray and Scott are sleeping. Both are motionless, no, wait! Scott is rolling over.
Over by the sofa, an excited Jon is telling a not-so excited Nush how many different words can be broken down and arranged to spell boredom.
Shirley the Rainbow Sheep
You slept through the last evictions
AS WELL THEN?
VANILLA COKE
I must confess my love for Vanilla Coke. It's scarily addictive.
I just realised how much of it I drink. I believe it's enough to warrant an official addiction...
They say the first step to beating an addiction is the realisation of it. Oh well.
On a completely different and random note, Nush MUST win Big Brother. She's amazing.
Some Random Piece Of Randomness
I've been too scared to open my can
NUSH? YOU DO HAVE BAD TASTE
