The Mega-Zine Museum
June 26, 2003
THE GEEK WHO SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH Is this all life is, WLW? What do you believe in? God? Aliens? Elvis? Just thought I'd go a little deeper than usual. All three. Anything's better than this.
LIVERPOOL'S NEWEST MALE POLEDANCER A young lady seems to have pinched my pole, so if anybody's seen her running around the streets of Liverpool can you please get it back for me? Give Sissy a break. That house was dull.
MERCY NUTS Have it! Don't mind if I do.
MY JOB
I hate my job. Here's why:
- Ugly people buy condoms — they should be so lucky.
- Old people can't find the toothpaste — but there's an entire aisle of it.
- People test the deodorants despite a sign saying: NO TESTERS.
The Lonely Brain Cell
You should come on work experience
TO THE TOWERS. BUNDLE OF LAUGHS
BLONDES
Why is there such a hubbub about blonde hair? Hair colour does not determine your personality or intellect.
It's frustrating: being blonde automatically means your IQ drops by about 100.
I blame Marilyn Monroe. But don't be fooled by her apparent thickness: she had an IQ of 160. Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain, possibly even WLW are (or were) intelligent blondes.
I Miss the Comfort In Being Sad
Well, have you ever seen a giraffe
WITH GREEN HAIR?
LIVER
Did you know that if you eat too much liver you catch Googelheimer Disease?
It's a stupid disease where you prod people repeatedly, and gain a liking to '80s pop music.
The One True Mad Omen
I think I know someone with that
BE RUDE TO NAME NAMES THOUGH...
AMY LEE
Amy Lee, Amy Lee,
my God how I love thee,
Whether I'm asleep or on the settee,
There's just one sight that pleases me,
Amy Lee, Amy Lee,
Just how perfect can one girl be?
Concrete Donkey
My sick bucket
IS SPILLING OVER
HELLO AGAIN MY BEAUTIES, IS IT HAPPENING?
Loyalty, eh? My mate keeps changing teams. He supports Man City but I heard him cheering for England the other day.
I've left college and I'm looking for a job. What I need is something physical, yet creative, challenging yet... bootylicious.
My CV says I've a degree in fun and a masters in hellraising.
Mr Fahrenheit
When you said changed teams I thought
YOU MEANT HE NOW LIKED MARIAH
THE EURO AND STUFF
There's debating going on all the time about this and I would like to join. Some think it would negate our Britishness, and some would rather ally with Europe than bcome the 53rd state of America.
They're missing the main point. We would have to work out the value of things every time we go out. My poor brain.
Up the pound.
Concrete Donkey
I hope they don't tax calculators
IF THE SWAP GOES AHEAD
'ZINE AWARDS 2003
BEST EDITOR/LOONY: WLW.
MOST TALKED ABOUT: The Brigadier.
BEST 'ZINE LETTERS: Topper for Matt Fatt.
BEST USE OF THE WORD 'EVIL': Fluffy the Evil One.
BEST LOOKING MALE 'ZINER: Me, obviously.
Spiky Stuy
Who ate my chocolate biscuits?
MAVIS, I CAN SEE YOUR WHISKERS
