The Mega-Zine Museum
June 25, 2003
RUBY SLIPPERS To become a regular on 'Zine, just eat more Bran Flakes. Isn't that right, WLW? Sorry I missed that. I was stuck on the loo.
LUCKY NUMBER 9 Is it because of my newbie-ness that you have refused to post any of my contributions? Of course not. 9 is my lucky number too.
THE CHOCOLATE-DIPPED TREKKIE The Hoobs. Has anyone else seen this, the second-best thing about C4? Hooble-toodle-doo for now. Oh no! That gives me nightmares first thing of a morning.
MIDI
Have you ever heard of midi files, WLW? They are my life and joy. Cheap, computerised versions made to desecrate the original.
But, there's something very lovable about them. I have about 350 in my collection.
Do you want me to send you one?
Dave the Rave
Mini flies you say...
ONLY IF THEY STILL EAT BIG SPIDERS
OWN UP!
I would like to start a public inquiry. I would like to know who introduced hip-hop and R'n'B to townies. Why did this person do this?
I can no longer go to the local hip-hop shop without some townies, in their tracksuits and fake Hilfiger shoes, saying: "Oh yeah, this is a bling-ing joint."
They only say this because they are hopeless wannabes, and it means nothing.
So get it sorted!
Minor Armageddon
I think we all know who's to blame —
BLAZIN' SQUAD'S RECORD COMPANY
TOP FIVE REASONS JORDAN SHOULD BE SENT INTO SPACE
- Her implants would explode.
- She could have intelligent conversation with a satellite.
- She could get more bounce in the breasts that don't move due to lack of gravity.
- We could do experiments to see who can handle situations in a spaceship better — a monkey or Jordan.
- She wouldn't be here.
Celery Boy
Put Jodie Marsh on the same shuttle
AND GET READY FOR THE ROCK SHOWER
MANCHESTER YOUTH GAMES
On Saturday I competed in the Manchester youth games. I played male volleyball for Stockport (don't laugh).
Bet you won't know how hard it is until you play it.
I played on Team Stockport and we lost every match, but we did get the most points in the second set against Rochdale (who won it) and we made Oldham change their strategy in the second set (they came second) because we were doing so well.
The Almighty Yomaguf
It's OK playing with the soft balls
BUT THE HARD? OUCH. SORE MAVIS PAWS
SCOOTER DUEL
Hoi, you, Samurai Hedgehog! How dare you insult my favourite trio? I propose a duel.
The referee can be Briggie if he's not already drunk on port! Or are you a cowardly mosher?
By the way, Blackpool rock actually is good! I was wrong, WLW, forgive me.
H P Baaxter
I would forgive if you'd sent me some
BUT YOU DIDN'T BOTHER
RED DWARF VS HITCHIKERS
So, Not A Snorkel's comments got me thinking about this debate. I'd say Hitchhikers.
Not only does it have Marvin the Paranoid Android but also the most hyperactive little robot ever.
The TV series and books are hilarious, as is the name and the radio series.
I rest my case.
Happy Little Elf
I never pick up anyone in my car
DWARF OR GIANT. THEY RUIN THE SEATS
DISILLUSIONED RANT NO 2
Townies — these are lower forms of life who believe Blazin' Squad are the best thing since kebabs and that everyone who does not have three Adidas stripes on their arm is a "goffick".
They should know that just because their joggers and shirt are the same brand doesn't mean the colours can't clash.
Townies around me have competitions to see who has the smallest... mobile phone.
The Wonky Gnome
Small phones but I bet they still
HAVE LOUD, TERRIBLE RINGTONES
