The Mega-Zine Museum
June 24, 2003
EMMA THE 'LIL' ANGEL Am I the only person who just loves Ready, Steady, Cook? I didn't know it was still made.
MASQUERADING VAMPYRESS I propose to start Team Metallica. Yes, let us give praise to these four metal masters. Not on these pages you won't.
THE BRIGADIER ITV newsreader Katie Derham is a tasty morsel, do you not think? Her bulletins are a joy to behold. Sounds like you'd eat her for breakfast. Poor girl.
TO THE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING PENGUIN
Thank you enrapturously for your donation of froody worms! They're added to the luminous fridge collection. Come over to Northern Ireland any time and view this wonder of the world.
Oh, and before I forget 'Ziners, it's a metaphor — I resemble a raccoon due to the black eyeliner, not the tail...
Purple Raccooness of Doom
Nothing wrong with a bushy tail
MAVIS' IS RATHER FETCHING
MY NAME IS...
After some wonderful suggestions, and hours of watching Monty Python, Open All Hours, Rocky Horror, Lee Evans and more, I've come up with my new name.
No longer shall I be The 'Ziner Formerly Known As Frank 'N' Furter's Bride, but instead I shall be known as Local Person.
For those not familiar with the term, look up Gentlemen, The League Of.
Local Person
So long as you're not from my local
THEY'RE A VERY ODD BUNCH OF GRAPES
DEAR WLW,
My sister and I need your illustrious opinion on a very serious subject. What to call our rock band!
The choices:
- Psycion Lives
- The Granny Rokurz
- Smeghedz
- The We Hate Justin (my head's too big to get through the door) Timberlake Society
So whaddya think?
The Gothic Budgie
To be honest I think Gothic Budgie
HAS THE NICEST RING TO IT
REVOLUTIONARY TRANSPORT SYSTEM
We all know cats never land on their back but toast always lands butter side up. Therefore, if we glue buttered toast to a cat's paws, then reality is stymied and we'll have a floating cat.
Do the same with 300 cats. Stick them together and eureka, a huge floating, um, thing.
Just need to get it to move now. Hmm...
Zaganza
STAY AWAY FROM MAVIS!
SOMEONE CALL THE RSPCA
HUMPTY DUMPTY
OK, so he had a great fall. But if you're an egg you should maybe be a little bit more careful.
I've never had a problem with Humpty personally — and I'm sorry for his family — but why the special treatment?
All the king's horses and all the king's men? My friend fell off a wall and he never got that. Then he didn't need putting back together again.
Topper
Look, he's cracked OK
GIVE HIM A BREAK
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
- Regarding The Last Cheese Toastie: I must inform you that, as The Last Mouse On Earth, it is my duty to eat you.
- Was it Sykopathic Mushroom who started it? I wanna join Team Farscape! The last episode was soooo unfair!
- To whomever said that Captain Picard was past it — Grrr! Grrr! You will suffer for that insult!
The Last Mouse On Earth
Past it? He never got started
C'MON, I FANCY A FIGHT
WLW,
WLW, have you recently eaten a 1001 Worst Gag Lines book?
Reading Mega-zine the other day, you put a pun in every one of your comments.
Please stop it, it's scaring my dog.
Shirley the Rainbow Sheep
Davord slipped it into the stew
TASTED SO GOOD, I NEVER NOTICED
