The Mega-Zine Museum
June 19, 2003
TONY B INDAHOUSE (OF COMMONS) Why is you pickin' on me? Is it 'cos I is New Labour? No, it is because you smell of curry and fish paste.
BATMAN'S BROTHER Chew on that, sucker! (said I to the weed in me garden). Good job Mavis can run fast.
THE BRIGADIER Hello there good people. Have you all missed me? I was called away on manoeuvres to an Amazonian rain forest where I discovered an all-female tribe who were extremely welcoming. Banging on as usual, we see.
BIG BROTHER ANIMALS
- Tania: a horse — check out that long face and teeth.
- Sissy: an orang-utan — the word orange springs to mind.
- Gos: a hippo — not just for the bigness, but the face too.
- Federico: a weasel — the guy's neck is always jibbering about.
Anyway,, excuse me it is 10pm, I must go watch the news. Not that I watch Big Brother, of course.
Annie Granny
I saw a man walking a weasel on Monday
A COLLAR WOULD SUIT FEDERICO
POETRY CORNER
A No 1 for Evanescence?
The mere thought leaves me incandescent
though their name means "To disappear, Like vapour",
it seems all too clear,
That for the time, to my chagrin,
They'll be doin' no such thang.
Polar Bear
It's just Linkin Park with a girl
THEY SHOULD SUE FOR COPYRIGHT
VIVA S CLUB!
Why are they showing this programme when S Club are no more?
I mean, it gave me false hope, I got all excited and happy, then I realised it was just the TV programme.
I think we should all rally around and sue Simon Fuller.
Citizen Twiggy
They're a bit slow at the BBC
NOT LIKE US AT ZINE
ME, MY NOSE AND HAYFEVER
I had my faith in humanity restored today.
While travelling on the Tube to the purgatory that is my school, I was overcome by a fit of sneezing. A very kind lady gave me a pack of tissues. Not just one, not two, but a whole pack of Boots 4-ply!
I would just like to say that this small event brightened up my day, although due to hay fever, my nose has swollen to the size of a cantaloupe...
Son of Parsley
I met a nice lady at a bus stop
GOOD PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE
DEAR WLW
I have a problem. It seems no matter how funny and witty I am, I never get printed any more.
I don't know what to do. I think it could be because I called you an orange fetishist.
Please help, I don't know what to do. Do you think it would help if I wrote to the right address?
Many thanks for your support during these difficult times.
Carnivorous Beansprout
Look, giraffes don't suit orange
PINK IS MY FAVOURITE
REVIVING AN OLD TREND
I seem to remember in times past that round about this time of year, 'Ziners would compare what imaginative words they managed to wangle into their exams.
As I have seen no letters of this type yet, I am writing to inform you that I got the word escapism into a chemistry exam the other day.
The 12th Lemon
Not really THAT imaginative now is it
TRY INCANDESCENT NEXT TIME
GOOD LUCK 'ZINERS
Well, as the best oxymoron debate seems to be dead, I have a suggestion for a new one — American style "momma" insults!
For example, here is my first entry:
"Your momma's so stoopid, she thinks Cheerios are donut seeds."
Good luck 'Ziners.
Anxious Aardvark
What, and they're not?
MARCEL, GET OUT OF THE GARDEN...
