The Mega-Zine Museum
June 12, 2003
THE SOULSHAKER If Noddy was to discover a new planet would he be able to call it The Land Of Nod? I think that's copyrighted by the Sleeping Sandman.
LADY PENELOPE'S STRINGS Remember when we spent all our days hand-in-hand, skipping merrily up hills swigging port? What do you mean I got the wrong address? That was a personal Briggie message surely.
MERCY NUTS TV keeps me calm, radio makes me hyper (esp The Archers). Funny, Archers do that to me too.
SOAPY SUBJECT 2
I have also noticed the strange things soap characters do. Some additional things are:
- No-one has a washing machine, instead they all use the laundrette.
- Everyone does their shopping in the cornershop, not a supermarket.
- Everyone always has breakfast in the cafe.
Magik Munky
They went to the Corrie supermarket
WHEN CURLY MANAGED FRESHCO
WLW'S IDENTITY
I think I know who WLW is... ME! Here is my reasoning:
- My mates call me giraffe because I'm short.
- My real name is Wilberforce Llewellyn Williamson-Smythe.
- I make up really funny puns, then they are ridiculed by the only people I have contact with.
- OK, so I'm not gay, but I think that you made that one up.
Insomniac Tapeworm
If I made up the fourth one then you
CAN'T BE ME. EH? GOTCHA THERE!
BREASTS
There appears to be a startling amount of mentions and pictures over the last few weeks to do with this subject. How worrying.
A family Teletext page should not display such filth, and I for one am disgusted. The fact this is now the second time I have mentioned "breasts" in the aforementioned time period is irrelevant.
Clean up your page now.
PS: Please may I have a picture of some breasts?
Concrete Donkey
Sorry, you're not
ON PAGE THREE
CEDRIC
How scary is that monster? He must be really super powerful 'cos he's managed to kick Davord off the front page, and he seems to know quite a lot about Las Ketchup. It's not right!
Does he ever come and stay with you, or when he comes knocking at your door, do you shut the blinds and pretend you're not in?
Lilac Leopard
Tried ignoring him then he slid
THROUGH THE LETTER BOX
HOWDY
As a new 'Ziner I would just like to introduce myself — and Winston my imaginary sheep.
I would also like to plead with WLW to stop crying over the split of the mighty S Club 7.
I know everyone will miss their marvellous, splendiferous, magical geniusness, but there's always Blazin' Squad, right?
Sonic and Winston
I shed all my tears when Paul left
...OF JOY
THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER — PART 1
- I can't reach my licence unless you hole my beer.
- Aren't you the one from the Village People?
- Wow, you must've been doin' at least 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!
Sykopathik Mushroom
Also any truncheon jokes —
THEY NEVER GO DOWN WELL
BURP
A game for two people to play when you're drunk.
One of you go out of the room and knock on the door. The other one has to guess who it is.
PS: If you are a Big Brother fan, you can play it when you're sober.
Acookingegg
I know that one
IT'S DAVORD'S CHRISTMAS FAVOURITE
