The Mega-Zine Museum
June 11, 2003
THEUNITEDTRUTH WLW, do you ever wonder if your bed might one day use its legs to run away from the mess of your room? Mine is attached to the wall.
THE INNOCENT DEVIL AT NUMBER 21 Why on earth is the voice for Big Brother often a woman? Brother = male. Woman's voice = female. Duh! Look, it's been 11 years since Cameron had a woman...
OPTIMO I want a picture of this monkey, Marcel.
He was too shy to show his face.
STREET THEATRES
These street parades don't agree with me. A bunch of out-of-work actors running about the streets dressed in luminous outfits singing Spanish songs and whatnot in the name of entertainment. I mean, hello?
The worst ones are those that try to involve the unfortunate passers-by. Who wants to dance with a man in a bright yellow dress in the street?
Honey Pie
I've told Davord off before about
RAIDING MABEL MOP LADY'S LOCKER
QUANTUM LEAP
I was flicking through the TV papers, and came across a channel that still showed this programme. Does anyone remember it?
Basically, when somebody died unnecessarily this bloke would travel back in time and become the dead person to make sure he avoided being killed, and more than likely he'd fall in love with somebody and would have to leave them in the past.
Pure genius.
The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin
Good way to escape psycho lovers
IF YOU ASK ME
TERRIFIED OF TICKLING
Can someone please explain to me why I am so ticklish?
It stops me from doing normal things — I can't get my feet measured in shoe shops, I can't get pedicures, I can't go swimming 'cos I always get tickled under the water, I can't go in a spa bath 'cos the bubbles tickle and last time I went to the beach my friends buried me in the sand and tickled the bottoms of my feet with feathers!
Prisoner Of My Own Weakness
I thought Jon was
STILL IN THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE
TRULY GREAT THINGS TO SAY
- Disease and pestilence upon you!
- Quarg Mippet (not quite muppet status).
- Indeed...
- Victory is mine!
- Eat shoe and die!
Dr StinkyMeat
I wish I could think of something
GREAT TO REPLY. BLOBS OF ORANGE!
FRENCH PHRASES THAT WILL GET YOU FAR...
- "Voulez-vous un combat, grand nez?" —
Do you want a fight, big nose? - "Allez et branchez outre d'une falaise." —
Go and jump off a cliff. - "Vous avez le cerveau d'un sandwich a fromage." —
You have the brain of a cheese sandwich.
Coming soon — amusing German phrases.
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
So that's what the sandwich man said
WHEN MARCEL PINCHED HIS EDAM
THE BEST QUOTES
"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"Always borrow money from pessimists. They will never expect it back."
Firebreathing Mouse
I tried borrowing from myself
AND STILL THE DEBT RISES
EVERYBODY'S FAVOURITE HULA HOOP DUDE
Steve Threlfall — I mean, the man is amazing.
But I have a friend with a boyfriend of the same name, and she got quite annoyed when I declared my love for ol' Steve in full earshot of her the other day.
As if I'd chase after other people's boyfriends. Hula Hoop Dude is mine!
The 12th Lemon
Nice to see he is back, back for good
HOPE THE LIPSTICK MARKS COME OFF
