The Mega-Zine Museum
June 6—7, 2003
THE INNOCENT DEVIL AT NUMBER 21 Hi mum, I'm on the telly! Well, not literally, I know you hate it when I do that! Yes, you always knock the aerial off.
SPLATTERED SPIDER SOUP That squished bug thingy in the top right-hand corner of the Mega-zine screen is myself. I have looked like this since my unfortunate accident. And I just thought it was a random blob.
KARAOKE KING If I own time, I can waste it as much as I please... Time wastes for no man. Or waits. Or something.
HHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMM
- Why, when you accidentally call the numbers that appear on your screen of your mobile when you sit on it or whatever, it's nearly always 999?
- Whatever happened to pilchards?
- Why doesn't food fly to me when I want it?
- If I just pretend I'm not a newbie, will I then be a regular through blissful ignorance?
Princess Siantia from the Land of Jaffanore
You have so many questions!
TRY HOSTING A QUIZ SHOW...
THE IDENTITY OF WLW REVEALED
After consulting numerous texts on the subject, I can conclude that WLW is the man/woman/gay giraffe at the end of the universe.
In true Hitchhikers style, he/she/it is fond of cats, and is visited by aliens asking for his/her/its witty remarks to go on the end of messages. Only they bring Jaffa cakes, not whisky.
Psychadelic Magickal Maiden
Ahh, a loyal Ziner
NO NEWBIE TODAY THEN!
ANNOYANCES
Has it ever struck you that calling the contents of crackers novelties is a bit daft? If they're so novel, then why do I get the same sewing kit and key ring every time?
Similarly, what's fun about fun-size chocolate bars? Since when was getting less chocolate than usual fun? I think it's terribly misleading.
Insane Jam Sow
You'd never get a novel in crackers
THE CRUMBS WOULD GO IN THE PAGES
SCOOTER
As a newbie I want to leap to the defence of this terrific trio.
I mean, who else has lyrics such as "respect to da man in da ice cream van"? Pure genius, especially the blonde guy.
So to summarise: dance good, rock bad.
H P Baaxter
Oh, I don't know. I quite like
BLACKPOOL ROCK
GET FIT THE HALIFAX WAY!
Those Halifax ads are very disturbing.
I'm so scared that the posters and cardboard cutouts in the window of my local branch will come to life and start singing and dancing, I've had to start running past every Halifax I come across.
Still, it's exercise, I suppose.
Rennaps
Don't ever go to the town of Halifax
YOU'D DIE OF FRIGHT
HEAD OVER HEELS
What a silly phrase this is WLW, don't you think?
Think about it. Your head is always over your heels, so why do you say it when you are especially happy?
It is also said when people are doing a cartwheel, in which case your heels are over your head.
Madness!
Optimo
Well, it makes as much sense as
HAVEN'T GOT A LEG TO STAND ON
EVIL DEEDS
I saw Marcel on the Halfords advert today in his wee red tracksuit. He's cute. I like monkeys.
I also saw the evil Howard from the Halifax giving the evil Rangers the cup at Ibrox. This man must be stopped.
Spiky Stuy
Marcel weed in his red tracksuit?
URGH! I TOLD HIM TO WEAR A NAPPY!
