The Mega-Zine Museum
May 27, 2003
JAMBON MAGNETIQUE WLW, never use a cheese grater to remove spots. Just trust me on this one. Ouch. And I thought my feet hurt today. Loopy.
MERCY NUTS Yarrr, I never get printed. Maybe my font doesn't fit round here. Comic sans is my favourite so write in that in future.
DUCHESS PANDORA OF ORMONDROYD Does anyone want to join Team... No stop it! This Team nonsense just has to stop! Well said. Pandora has opened her box and the words need listening to.
THE "OI" GAME
OI! This being my first post and whatnot, I would like to introduce you to the delights of this traditional Ilford game.
Basically, when walking down a street, you shout "Oi!" as loud as you can. Points are awarded for strangers turning round and looking at you. Double the points if they can't work out who shouted.
Anyhow, I'm off to play...
Optimo
It was you who snuck up to me when I
WAS HALF ASLEEP YESTERDAY MORNING!
NEW 'ZINER
For years I've been searching up and down dales for a flock where I belong.
I know you welcome monkeys but can you find it in your hearts to love a sheep?
Nobby the Nomadic Sheep
I suppose you are wearing
QUITE A NICE COAT...
FARMER JACK
Do you have a veggie patch? You see the Health Inspector confiscated my veggie patch and orchard for a week, because I made some limestone-flavour muffins and he said that it was a naughty, naughty thing to do.
So, would you be willing to do some trades for a week until I get my stuff back? I need some coriander. I'll give you 10 bob for every 20 bunches you give me.
The One Who Sells Muffins
Marcel tends to my trees
BUT I COULD HELP FOR SOME MUFFINS
GIRLS ALOUD MAKE ME GAG ALOUD!
Has anyone else noticed how the new Girls Aloud song (I can't be bothered to remember the name) has nearly exactly the same words in the chorus as the last one? It does!
They once again rhyme stereo with floor below. They stretched their songwriting talents there!
The Innocent Devil at Number 21
I'll think you'll find they
DON'T WRITE SONGS
PET MITT
I just saw an advert for this amazing creation!
What it is, right, is a glove that you use to stroke your pets with. Brilliant! Worth paying money for that! And, as an added bonus, you can clean the fur off your furniture with it! Amazing!
Y'know, sometimes I worry that my sarcasm goes so far that I forget who I am and what I'm talking about.
A Leprechaun Called Steve
I bought a pet grooming mitt once
MY MUM LAUGHED AS I HAD NO PET
ULTIMATE
Has anyone noticed how five puts the word Ultimate before a lot of its shows' names.
I mean, if it was to do a show on the e-mails we 'Ziners send to WLW, then it would be called Ultimate 'Zine Letters — Revealed.
I mean, the next thing you know they will do a show about their series of ultimate shows called Ultimate Ultimate Shows — geddit? Hahaha.
Viva La Revolution
Well, they have to do something
TO ENTICE VIEWERS IN TO WATCH
IDLEWILD
Does no one else support this wonderful band? Roddy is ridiculously cute in an ugly way and, after seeing them live with Coldplay, they rock all.
Their melodic guitar ranting and pixie prancing makes me proud to be British. So what if they get hammered and dance to the YMCA backstage at Kerrang! — I still love them.
Purple Raccooness of Doom
One of Scotland's finest offerings...
AFTER MABEL MOP LADY, OF COURSE
