The Mega-Zine Museum
May 22, 2003
CARNIVOROUS BEANSPROUT A naked man feareth no pick pockets. Isn't that so right WLW? I'm sure he worries about chilly weather though.
FIBREGLASS MONKEY Why is it that people with a cough never go to the doctor — they go to the cinema? They think sweets can only be eaten in the dark.
THE ALMIGHTY YOMAGUF What is the reason for scallys (people who wear stripey Fred Perry jumpers, baseball hats and have their pants tucked into their socks)? To amuse the rest of us.
CRAZY SHENANIGANS
Good day and welcome.
Ever wanted to own a day? Well now you can. For just £5,000 you could own any day of the year.
But hurry, only 1,000 available.
What's that you say? Con?
The One True Mad Omen
If I had such money I would buy
A FACTORY OF FANTA AND JAFFA CAKES
WOULDN'T IT BE ANNOYING IF...
- You woke up to find that you were actually a carpet particle.
- Apples were really exotic Hawaiian pigs in disguise.
- Blue paperclips could fly. ( Candle wax ruled the south of England.
- You found out that your best friend was actually a silver frog.
Killersweetcorn
Some of my friends have proved slimey
BUT NEVER GAVE ME ANY SILVER
HELLO AGAIN MY BEAUTIES
Is it happening?
Hello to Brian May's Unopened Bottle of Frizz-ease, I'll join Team Queen.
I will be a worthy member as I sing their songs in the shower and dress up as a woman while hoovering.
Actually, I tell a lie, I don't really sing in the shower.
Mr Fahrenheit
So, you are the Brigadier's
NEW MAID THEN?!
BREASTS
Would the kind, faceless internet corporation which keeps sending me letters offering: "Bigger breasts, instantly," please stop?
I happen to like my breasts how they are. Er, not that I have any, of course.
Concrete Donkey
You should get down the gym
OR M&S'S UNDERWEAR DEPARTMENT
GIRL AND CELIA
I was just reading the hallowed pages of 'Zine when, all of a sudden, I came across a letter written by this duo, to me. (Laughs in a satisfied way).
Ahem, will to answer your question, I hail from Meath, and might I ask where you come from?
Bill the Depressed Mule
Surely where you go is more interesting
FOR ME ANYWAY...
TEAM NO TEAMS
Right, I'm fed up of this whole Team malarky. So I'm cancelling any membership I had to any Teams (yes, even Team Placebo, Team Feeder and Team Pigeon) and anyone who wants to boycott teams in a similar manner can join Team No Teams, only obviously it isn't a team, because we don't like teams.
The 12th Lemon
They do seem a bit pointless
ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T GET BADGES
PICS
Oi, I'm a semi-regular 'Ziner now. C'mon gimme a piccy!
It can be of anything you want, just gimme gimme gimme! Or I'll scream till I'm sick!
I'm warning you!
Evil Tongs
These beauties will have you
SCREAMING FOR MERCY
