The Mega-Zine Museum
May 6, 2003
STYLUSKID I know who you are, WLW, you're the girl with the pink mullet at the Void in Worcester! Mullet? The hairdresser said it was a Hoxton finn.
MAGIC MUNKY For all of you out there who say Avril Lavigne is manufactured, here's something to think about: record companies don't manufacture people who can't sing! Are you the ballet girl who booed off the Sk8er Boi?
TARANTINO SQUIRREL So, WLW, die I miss anything? Not really. I'm always last to know anyway.
WINDOW CLEANERS
I have decided to rant about window cleaners. So I've just got out of the shower and there's a knock on the door — window cleaners — so I ignore it hoping they'll go away.
But they start cleaning the windows. I mean, can you believe it?
So I was stuck crawling around trying to escape them seeing me. Didn't work too well though, and they collared me for the £3.65.
Polish Butcher
Solution —
BOARD UP ALL THE WINDOWS
IF 'ZINERS WERE STAR TREK CHARACTERS
- WLW — Q. The ultimate, omnipotent guardian of the pages.
- The Chocolate Covered Trekkie — Hoshi. Young, and fluent in Klingon.
- My good self — Tribble #83749. Just like everyone else, but fluffier.
- Briggie — Captain Kirk. Ageing, balding, paunchy womaniser.
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
So you've seen The Brigadier's
EARS TOO? HEE HEE
NEW 'ZINER
Hello Mega-Zine! Long time reader, first-time writer. What does it take to belong here?
I don't seem to belong anywhere. If I'm not accepted here as well I think I might cry.
The Dandylion
You're printed — you belong
JAFFA CAKES HELP IT HAPPEN AGAIN
BRIGGIE AND TWIGGY
Briggie and Twiggy sitting in a tree,
Having a snog over afternoon tea!
Real-life tragedy, don't you think? Everyone will be put off!
Hamster The Gangster From Hamsterdam
I think it's a beautiful poem
BUT THE SNOG MAKES ME FEEL ILL
AVRILITES
Arrgghh! They've infested everything. Wherever I go there's a crowd of them, just standing there looking miserable, listening to that accursed Avril.
Kids shouldn't do that, they should be out having fun. Not poisoning their minds with tripe like Avril Listerine.
Come, we must save these children.
The One True Mad Omen
But what can save them?
ONE TRUE VOICE? DAVID SNEDDON?!
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND
With all the 'Ziners vying for the affection of Samurai Hedgehog, I do believe I have lost interest.
I'm just not the competitive kind and I like Bill the Depressed Mule better — and he's much closer to home (how much closer Bill?).
The Girl With The Imaginary Friend Called Cecilia
The fun is in tie chase
ONCE YOU GET THE PRIZE, BORING...
WINE GUMS
I've stopped eating the round wine gums. Do you know why?
They say port on them, and if I eat them I might turn into Briggie.
Aarrgh!!!
The One Who Sells Muffins
Waaaaahhhh, but I love them
MAYBE I AM BRIGGIE BUT DON'T KNOW!
