The Mega-Zine Museum
May 2—3, 2003
THE KISS OF JUDAS Birmingham nightclubs + my wallet's contents + 4am taxi home = I'm skint. Tip: leave in time to catch the bus.
THE WONKY GNOME I heard that often your best thoughts come to you when you're asleep. I am asleep while I'm typing this message. You were obviously lied to by some nasty fibber.
POLLY STYRENE Did you know that the TV remote doesn't work on the stereo? It's the way of the sound of the underground.
THE ADVENTURES OF MATT FATT — PART 6
Matt meets Tina Tiny.
| TINA: | Hi, I'm Tina Tiny. |
| MATT: | I'm Matt Fatt, although ironically, I'm of a slender disposition. |
| TINA: | Yes. (Pause) |
| MATT: | Wanna go out with me? |
| TINA: | Not really. |
| MATT: | OK. |
Topper
Tiny lady
BIG SMART BRAIN
OH DANK YOU
I like to dank all the maybe husbands I have had offers from, but there are a couple more things I need from you, to know if you are, how you say... suitable husband material!
My husband must have room for my grandfather Ludwig as he is clinging to me but it has to have a window as he is quite stinky!
I will be waiting for your messages and hope to hear from you soon!
Katinka Milosovich, the Russian bride
I think some offers may be retracted
NOW YOU'RE RELATED TO BRIGGIE
TIP-TOP-TASTIC TV SHOWS
- Countdown — genius!
- Shooting Stars — splendiferous!
- Bang Bang It's Reeves and Mortimer — Oooooh, me likey!
- Jam — Insanity on TV. Buh...
- Star Trek — my first and only love. Janeway, you fool, take Q! Gorgeous and omnipotent.
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
Someone fix this guy's aerial
HE'S ON A MAD FREQUENCY
WLW,
On reflection of your list of fave words, I have come up with mine.
- Enchanted
- Ripple
- Slinky
- Moot
- Bubble
I think this is the ultimate list so please feel free to dispute this. I will win.
Kind regards,
Jjheffna
I'm with you on them all but moot
GIVE IT THE... BOOT!
A CONVERSATION
| BRIGGIE: | I'm 910 and have never kissed anybody. Am I normal? What can I do to change this? |
| WLW: | Well, give up the port, shut up about the war, keep out of my road, seek plastic surgery, diet, have a bath, and, if all else fails, then do a Kurt Cobain. |
| BRIGGIE: | What? |
| WLW: | Goodbye. |
Spiky Stuy
So it's you
TAPPING INTO MY PHONECALLS!
CHA, CHA, CHA, CHANGES
They've changed the voice and appearance of Coco the Coco Pops monkey! That's not on.
First Tony the Tiger got a makeover and now my fave monkey.
With all these silly changes, they're ruining this once great country.
Brigadier, my ole pal, sort something out, will ya? Haha.
DJ Dave
If only they'd let Marcel
JOIN IN THE AUDITIONS
TEAM PLACEBO!
Kuja — I am one of those who you seek! Brian Molko rocks!
I will gladly join Team Placebo, which makes... two of us!
Ha ha, that's more than all the other teams have got! Ha!
Triangular Frostbite
Will you do a Dr Evil-style rendition
OF JUST THE TWO OF US NOW?
