The Mega-Zine Museum
April 24, 2003
THE ONE WHO SELLS MUFFINS If an orange is called an orange, than why isn't a lemon called a yellow? How long is a piece of string? And why?
GOTHIC FLUFFY BUNNY OF DOOM German salami is a lot nicer than Tesco's Danish. I've always sworn by a bowl of Irish stew. Or at one...
BIG BOB FLAPPER Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. And furthermore, yo. Yes children, yo is the word of the day. Yo can shurrup, as people say in Birmingham.
IF 'ZINERS WERE FOOTBALL TEAMS
- WLW: Rangers (simply the best).
- Briggie: Man U (always talked about).
- Samurai Hedgehog: Juventus (out there).
- The Funnungrappod: Bolton (wasn't in the league last season).
- Farmer Jack: Everton (always there but never really noticed).
Crinkle-cut Beatroot
Footie's for wimps.
'ZINERS GONE SOFT?
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Why, WLW, why? Why on earth do you have to mention the Brigadier so much? What has he got that I haven't? Why does he have to be mentioned on every single page?
Aaabrrrrggghhhhh! Let's hope he drinks himself to death on port.
And don't print this letter, WLW, because I don't want to hear about him anymore...
Pint-sized Pineapple
Briggie is God.
YOU ARE A FRUIT
I MADE IT!
I've made it onto Insane Jam Sow's page, hurrah!
I would like to thank my mom and the stunt co-ordinator and the make-up artists and the clapperloader and so on for inspiring me to write these rubbish e-mails.
And have you seen the tour of WLW Towers on Kilted Englishman's web page? Brilliant!
Helga the Viking
Men in skirts —
IT'LL NEVER CATCH ON!
NEW PASTURES
Well, erm, ahem, I know I said it was a lifelong obsession but a girl can't wait forever you know.
Consequently, I have moved on from Skislope and now I have my very own brand new spanking boyfriend! He comes complete with lots of presents and a knack of giving me compliments continually.
Darby
Gifts equal guilt
HE'S CHEATING — OOPS
HUH?
I was looking through a free newspaper today when I read this advert:
"WANTED: BAND MEMBERS (All roles, from vocals to violin) to form an exciting new combo in the South West region. Influences: Slipknot, Westlife, Blazin' Squad and Toploader. No time-wasters please!"
Who on earth is gonna ever wanna apply for that?
DJ Dave
The former members of
TOPLOADER — DUR
HELLO FROM SPACE!
Nuqneh, Ziners! I'm currently serving on the Starship Twiglet.
Anyway, today we were sent to check on a remote outpost of scientists, who were all perfectly all right.
On the way back, we met a new, previously-undiscovered alien. It was greatly inferior to us, and we managed to pacify it with some sweeties.
Q'apla for now, my dearies.
The Chocolate-Dipped Trekkie
Mar-mate's a Twiglet
GEDDIT? SNAFFLE
MATCH-MAKER MAVIS
My cat Phoebe has been single for quite some time now and I was wondering if Mavis could set her up with an eligible bachelor cat?
Phoebe is two years old, about 10 inches tall, slim, black fur, hazel eyes, GSOH, neutered, likes Whiskas, hates Marmite, quite partial to Jaffa cakes.
Queen Niveus Of Coolhaven
Mabel's off love right now.
LONG STORY
