The Mega-Zine Museum
April 18—21, 2003
THE ONE WHO SELLS MUFFINS Did you know that my friend really reminds me of a potato? What, tasty when doused in salt and vinegar then licked?
DJ DAVE People forget rubbish and useless music quickly. That's why nobody ever talks about a1, B*Witched or Five on these pages. You remember. You loved them didn't you. Didn't you!
SAMURAI HEDGEHOG Happy Easter WLW! Look what I got ya — a Gareth Gates egg! No, you don't have to thank me, honestly. I'll still eat it. Crushed.
THE NEW KING OF SNACKS
I know you love your Jaffa cakes, WLW, but I do believe it is time we bowed down and hailed a new king — the cheese and jam sandwich!
Who would have thought that two very different things could be combined to make such a wondrous creation?
I can just taste it now. The sweet raspberry jam smattered all over thick slices of good ol' Cheddar cheese.
The Cynical Womble
Slice of Jaffa Cake inside
AND THEN WE'LL TALK ABOUT DINNER
TEAM FEEDER
I would just like to pledge my allegiance to this worthwhile cause. Feeder are the greatest group around.
OK, so Avril has nice clothes and Team Whatever is good and all, but I have to agree with Pretentious Hasbean that Feeder rock.
Sweet Poison
They're all right by me.
FEED HIM OR HER, JUST FEED ME TOO
DIE AVRIL DIE!
The Jaffa Cake factory won't be blown up, I will not let Spiky Stuy do it.
Hippycrit, I'm a she.
Funk, interesting, but punk and metal kick.
And Sykopathik Mushroom, I want to join Team Metal. Death metal and heavy metal, yeah!
Now, any takers for my Team Bam Margera or My Anti-Avril/Briggie Movement?
Purple Punk
Anti-Briggie?
THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY ME
CAPTAIN BIRDSEYE
I see Captain Birdseye has changed his identity again and gone back to looking old after his stint as a 30-something young sea dog. Makes you wonder where the old captain went when the youngster took over.
Not trying to say that the Mafia had a contract on him, but the youngster didn't last very long, did he? And the old guy's looking rather smug.
Dottedline
Maybe he was like Les Dennis and
WENT OFF TO REALITY TV SOMEWHERE
XPHILES VERSUS TREKKIES
OK, I know there are at least two Trekkies around here, so this may be a little controversial...
- X Philes don't need a silly language.
- We aren't seen as nerds.
- At least the female characters in The X Files were beautiful — your's are deformed excuses for aliens.
- The X Files was true sci-fi, your's was just childish rubbish.
- Aliens do not look like Vulcans.
XPhile2868
I swear aliens were landing in my
GARDEN LAST NIGHT. I SAW LIGHTS
HAND MAIDEN
Brigadier, I recently lost my job as a fish collector, and so went to the 'Zineville job centre.
Here, I saw your advert for a new hand maiden and thought I would apply for the job.
Well, what do you say? I've never applied for a job as a hand maiden before. Please be kind.
Triangular Frostbite
You must be really hard up.
HE MAKES YOU CLEAN IN FANCY FROCKS
EASTER
As Easter will be coming at us apace, I thought I would celebrate this festive occasion by asking my new maid, Bathsheba, if I could cover her in chocolate body paint.
I was somewhat surprised at her reluctance over my proposal — no hot cross buns for her, then. I simply cannot get the staff these days.
The Brigadier
Oh yes, Easter, I need a long break —
WILL BE BACK ON TUESDAY
