The Mega-Zine Museum
April 13, 2003
SIR TANNY WLW, if someone makes a really good letter but their is all these mistaks in htem, wood you still print them? Sure, it gives our sub editors something to do.
EVIL TONGS I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. You won't have met me there.
THE BRIGADIER And why, pray, was I not the winner of the Company magazine Bachelor Of The Year award this year? I'm crestfallen. You tell us you're a ladies man. Unfair then, really.
INSANE JAM SOW
I think you are being really unfair criticisng the poor weather forecasters.
How on earth are they meant to predict the weather for the next week when we are lucky if we know what the weather will be like in an hour?
Also, you do not see them living in big houses like The Brigadier or be adored like Beckham etc.
So leave them alone!
The Soulshaker
If they bring me sunshine OK
WHEN IT RAINS, I GET ANGRY
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH
An ode to David. He knows all.
Wildlife On One,
Wildlife On One,
Fun and games,
For everyone
God save David Attenborough!
Queen Niveus Of Coolhaven
Save him?
HE'S DONE NOTHING WRONG
'ZINE DATING AGENCY
Hiya Samurai! I am a young slush-mad Mancunian girl and I'd love to be your new hogette.
That's if you can put up with my blue tongue from all the blue cherrii slushes.
WLW, you can pretend to be Cilla Black.
Blue Cherrii Slush
Ever had a dollop of vanilla ice cream
IN BLUE SLUSH? MMMMM. TRY IT!
WHAT A QUANDARY
Well, I have loved Samurai Hedgehog forever and now he is single but so is Bill the Depressed Mule and Bill, I am Irish, too, although Cecilia is a Swedish-speaking Russian witch.
You two must fight for the love of this gorgeous, intelligent, pretty much wonderful girl and her imaginary friend (we come as a sort of package).
The Girl With The Imaginary Friend Called Cecilia
You and your pal have to fight Slushy
IT COULD GET MESSY I FEAR
ODE TO TRENT REZNOR
He is a big man, yes he is and he has a big gun. Incidentally, I live in his pocket (am telescopic). The man is a god amongst gods.
However, he doesn't let me out of his pocket. Must escape to read 'Zine, I put it to the good people of the 'Zine to liberate newbie Ms Ruiner and make Reznor live in her pocket!
Must run, he has returned. Ciao.
Ms Ruiner
Big man, small pocket
I HOPE YOU CAN SEW AFTER THE SWITCH
WLW
At least half of you 'Ziners out there think that WLW stands for White Line Warrior. But what if it doesn't?
Here are some ideas:
- Whimping Laughing Wham.
- Witless Lapdancing Wapperboy.
- What Loin Whip.
- Wangling Loony Window.
- Wrapping Luminous Wound.
Hamster The Gangster From Hamsterdam
Shhh, the loin whip story was
JUST ABOUT DYING DOWN
BE NICE TO THE NEW GIRL
Hellooo! I thought I'd come and grace your pages in the hope you can help me with the new scourge of the earth — mini Avrils!
As if the real one isn't enough, now I've got squeaky 12-year-olds telling me life's too complicated!
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Fluffy McFluff Fluff (from Fluffland)
I suggest stuffing your
EARS WITH FLUFF
