The Mega-Zine Museum
April 11—12, 2003
THE DIET COKE OF EVIL WLW, do you have any tattoos? None that won't wash off. Prefer piercings.
PRINCESS SIANTIA FROM THE LAND OF JAFFANORE Is this e-mail worthy of the first page? I have Jaffa cakes... OK, you're printed now. Send them in. With the Easter eggs too.
SUICIDAL TANNY I'm absolutely sure I saw Briggie cuz I saw this old fart telling all these weird stories and figured it was him. Did you get his number and report it to lost and found?
HELLO PEOPLE
You won't know me. I'm Spiky Stuy's good-looking brother.
I wish to join your clan. If you let me I will give you dirt about Spiky from time to time.
This is my first e-mail to the mighty 'Zine so please print me for facts about Spiky.
The One and Only Warlok
Hello. We like a bit of dirt
SO LONG AS IT'S NOT ON THE CARPET
WELL HELLO AGAIN, WLW
Hello WLW, long time, no type. Just wanted to say hi and wish you all good health at the Towers.
Say hi to Mavis and Davord for me, would ya?
Cheers mate. Bye bye.
MightyMothMan
Such a well-mannered young Ziner
MAVIS IS WAGGING HER TAIL RIGHT BACK
DEFINITIONS
- Catacomb — a brush for a cat.
- Dogma — the mother of puppies.
- Sadist — someone who would put a drawing pin on an electric chair.
- Octopus — an eight-sided cat.
Fibreglass Monkey
You'd get through a few catacombs
IF YOU OWNED OCTOPUSES
POETRY CORNER
There was a man called Frank,
He drove around in a tank,
There was a man called Bob,
He was a bit of a snob,
There was a man called Martin,
He wore his hair in a centre parting,
There was a man called Scott,
He lived in a parking lot.
The End.
Bert the Carpet
There is a man called Davord
JAFFA CAKES HE DOES HOARD
THE ADVENTURES OF MATT FATT — PART 4
Attack Of The Thirty Foot Feet.
| GENE: | "Matt, what are we gonna do now? Nothing can stop the feet!" |
| MATT: | "Yeah, apart from... SUPER MATT!" (Matt and feet fight for around three minutes. Matt wins). |
| MATT: | "I told you I was super." |
| GENE: | "My dreams are getting weirder." |
| MATT: | "I know." |
Topper
I wonder if he could help with my
BLISTER POPPING PROBLEM
JIMMY SAVILE
Do you not think Jimmy Savile was the ultimate sadist of the '80s? He granted the wishes of few, and destroyed the hopes of many.
I was one of his victims. Yes, I never got to meet New Kids On The Block. I could have been Mrs Jordan Knight by now! The childhood scars run deep.
One of my mates wanted to dance with Shakin' Stevens. Distraught she was.
Helga The Viking
That's what Ant & Dec are for now
AND THEIR SUITS ARE BETTER
CONVENTION
I have discovered that there is a mini community swarming away underneath Dover's belly of us 'Ziners. As a result I am proposing two conventions.
The first is Saturday April 12, at 1.30pm outside Woolies.
The second is at the Leas Cliff Hall during the Placebo concert — proclaim yourself a 'Ziner by shouting it every so often at the bar. Or something.
I haven't really thought this one out.
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
How about rubber chickens
ON YOUR HEADS?
