The Mega-Zine Museum
April 6, 2003
THE DIMGIRL (FROM THE MOLEHOLE) I am very hurt that you didn't print a birthday message for me, WLW. If we were in a relationship you would be soooo dumped! It's Davord's fault. He plans my diary.
FIBREGLASS MONKEY I believe in reincarnation — so I've left everything to myself. And not even a Jaffa Cake for me? I'm so disappointed.
JAKAKA MARLEY I'm very snotty today and I think that deserves a round of applause. You're not having my hanky.
GINGER PEOPLE
Hhhhhmmmm, why do we always take the mickey out of carrot tops? What's actually wrong with being ginger?
I know they gave us Geri and Chris Evans but compare that to the Welsh. They gave us the Manics. Eeeek!
Fluffy the Evil One
Geri and the ginger from Girls Aloud
REASON ENOUGH TO STEER CLEAR
LOVELY KATINKA
Lovely Katinka, look no further,
For you'll find no-one worthier,
To be your 'Zine lover, and to meet
Your family, especially your mother,
In these lines you will find only truths,
But where you have hands and feet,
I have only hooves.
See WLW, no matter how nonsensical poetry is, it always strikes a chord with the ladies.
How 'bout it Katinka?
Concrete Donkey
My hooves hinder my love life
PEOPLE SAY I STAMP ALL OVER THEM
ENOUGH ALREADY!
First there was Team Avril. That was annoying enough. Then came the rest: Team Phil Collins (huh?), Team Tenacious D (don't get me started) and even a Team Eric Clapton (overrated).
They all smell!
Wow, that was kind of controversial. I think I need a lie down.
The Young Upstart
Stand up and sort them out
IT'S BORING ME NOW TOO
MATCH MAKING!
Step aside Jambonica and you, you Trekkie, for I, too, want to express my love for dear old Briggie.
His wit, his charm and, of course, his port.
He can invite me round to his any day for a glass or two of that sweet, sweet stuff.
Well, Briggie, what do you say?
Barbie Must Die
And you lot say I mention him lots!
HE'S MOST POPULAR 'ZINER FOR 2003
HELLO EVERYONE
Has anyone ever noticed those little sticker thingies that old people have on walking sticks? They seem to have loads but you never see them being sold in shops or anything. Perhaps it's a secret.
That's it, I'm off to kidnap an old person and deprive them of their kippers and rice pudding until they tell me who their sticker dealer is...
Holy Goat
It's so they can mark you out to walk
SLOWLY IN FRONT OF YOU NEXT TIME
BEAUTIFUL STRANGER,
Don't worry, I'm not talking about Madonna...
There's a new 'Ziner out in 'Zineland and I want to wave hello with a big hand.
Racholeum is a beautiful stranger. It takes a lot to see through the "Rachish" language but I do and she's great.
I just wanted to tell her. Will you tell her for me? I'm too shy...
Racholeum's Number One Fan
Rach, I think your luck is in
DOUBLE DATE WITH BRIGGIE?
THE SONG OF EARTHWORM JIM
Once there was a little worm,
His second name was Jim,
He wore a big robotic suit,
And hung out down the gym.
(Note: this is a lie, not a bacon pie.)
The One True Mad Omen
A pie would have tasted better
AT THIS TIME OF DAY
