The Mega-Zine Museum
April 3, 2003
HARIBO GIRLI Build me up, buttercup baby, I need you so... Does anyone know the rest of the words? Because I love you so! And I don't say that lightly.
COMRADE SPUD Team Tenacious D. Can I join? Oh, go on! I don't like Phil Collins, and I'm sure Avril is the spawn of Satan... Pleeeease! Say yes before he boils over with excitement.
THEUNITEDTRUTH Why the labels? Townie, trendie, greebo, goth, skater, mosher, punk, rocker, hippie, I mean, what is the point? To segregate. Terrible.
IF 'ZINERS WERE IN THE ROYLE FAMILY
- Jim — WLW (the father figure and big beard).
- Norma — The Brigadier (just a large brandy, please).
- Baby David — Davord (a bit smelly).
- Anthony — The Way and the Light (such a livewire).
- Beverly Macker — Dimgirl (please?).
The monarchy is under pressure!
Genius at Work
I could sit in a chair and watch TV
ALL DAY! OH, I ALREADY DO THAT!
A PROPOSITION
Yes, you lot may have your Team Avril, and Team Phil Collins but I really feel it's time we had a team that could actually have some members. Therefore, I am proposing: Team Placebo!
Not only a tribute to a great band but also a pretty nifty team name, too!
You've got to admit that charming Brian Molko is pretty hot, even if he does have a fetish for make-up.
The Wasted Circle
At least you'd have pristine bruises
IF YOU GOT INTO A FIGHT
BRIGGIE AND JAFFA CAKES
This is my first time writing to you but I want you to know one thing I like and one thing I don't.
- Like: Jaffa cakes and other biscuity treats.
- Dislike: The Brigadier and anyone who likes him.
Nathan from the Nuthouse
I'd have thought you'd get on
BEING FROM THE NUTHOUSE 'N' ALL...
KATINKA MILOSOVICH, RUSSIAN BRIDE
Now then, what a fantastic name that is. All Russian and everything.
Incidentally, t.A.T.u are Russian. (Not that that's relevant, I just thought they deserved a mention.)
Oooh, and I've never had a 'Zine girlfriend before. (No, really).
So, how do you rate my chances, WLW?
Farmer Jack
I don't go for farmers or frolic with
MY 'ZINERS. SORRY. TRY DIMGIRL
THINGS I DID IN MY MOCK SATS
- Bashed rubbers together.
- Read the graffiti on the desk.
- Ate Haribo when the teachers weren't looking.
- Stared at the back of my beloved scary redhead kid's head.
- Got my nose really clean.
- Almost ate my science paper.
I hate tests.
Anathema
So long as you wrote the answers on
YOUR ARM, IT WAS WORTH THE PAIN
A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE PHOBIAS
Arachibutyrophobia — fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Gnosiophobia — fear of knowledge — a more inventive excuse than saying your dog/venus fly trap/grannie ate your homework.
Pogonophobia — fear of beards.
Sugared Venom
Stay away from Tom Jones then
BIT OF A KNOW-IT-ALL; BEARDY OLDIE
TEAM RUBBISH
Hmmmm, these silly teams! At this rate I shall be forced to set up Team Anti-Pigeon, The 12th Lemon will set up Team Pro-Pigeon, and then 'Zine will be torn apart by war! Team Avril, tush.
Any more of this silly Team rubbish and I'll set up Team Sisters Of Mercy and that'll show you all.
Team Mega-Zine is fine by me, so NUR!
Ammopogo
Here! Here!
EVERYONE PLAY NICELY, PLEASE
