The Mega-Zine Museum
April 1, 2003
THEUNITEDTRUTH Whatever happened to Jared Leto? He went to the angels. Charlie's. Lives with Cameron Diaz.
THE ONE TRUE MAD OMEN WLW, what I'd like to know is when are you gonna give me back my kettle? You've had it for three months now and I'd like it back. The ants are getting impatient. They need tea. OK, winter's over. I don't need a hot water bottle at night.
ORGANISED CONFUSION Evil one-legged spice chickens are plotting our demise. Send them to my oven!
A NOTE FROM ME
WLW, do you think my mullet is still in fashion?
And as I'm a first-time writer, can I have a picture of Gareth Gates and Blazin'Squad with their pathetic heads being squeezed in vices?
The Devil's Avocado
Too many Squadders to fit a frame
BUT SIDE-PARTED MULLETS LOOK OK
SHAME ON YOU...
The 12th Lemon! How could you say such nasty, nasty things about such a fragile, well-respected 'Ziner?
The poor man is the Patron Saint of 'Ziners so do the decent thing and never ever question his right to be nattered about over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...
PS Just send the cheque in the post Brigadier! Oh, and could you sing me a sea shanty?
Triangular Frostbite
I have a bad cold
A HOT LEMON DRINK MIGHT HELP
THE RETURN OF NORBEX
Oh God, help us all, now this numpty has made a return to 'Zine.
At least we can give thanks that Golden Bun and Pablo Marmite aren't on anymore!
Fluffy the Evil One
You're still evil though
REJOICE
QUESTIONS
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
The Clockmouse From Your House
Davord tells me lingerie feels nice
MY GIRAFFE HOOVES WOULDN'T KNOW
A NEW RELIGION
As everyone is starting up their own teams I've decided to start my own religion — The Church of Snoop D-o-Double Gizzle.
So comrades, join me now in worshipping the dogfather of rap...
Insert Name Here
You're on your bone there
GEDDIT, BONE, OWN... WHATEVER
WITTY INSULTS
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't you happy?"
"You are not paranoid. Everyone does hate you."
"Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?"
"As an outsider, how do you view the human race?"
Alf, The Unstoppable Sprout
You mean my misery is down to
INTELLIGENCE AND NOT LACK OF MONEY?
JUST A QUESTION...
For some time now I have noticed that The Brigadier is always printed on page 8. Why?
Not only that, but pages concerning the port-fuelled one are also printed on page 8.
Is there a conspiracy going on?
Willow Windoleen
You're suggesting I actually
PAY ATTENTION TO THE OLD FOOL?
