The Mega-Zine Museum
March 29, 2003
THE ALLMIGHTY CORTEX WLW is a dinosaur from our imagination, and when he's there he doesn't care about his constipation. Sainsbury's raisin wheats have been sorting that out.
THE 7TH DEADLY SINNER May this be the first of many letters. Well, if you do like sinning.
VIVA LA REVOLUTION I was watching a show yesterday that stated that for many people The Brady Bunch is the ideal family. Tell me this isn't so! The Osbournes. Nuff said.
LONG HAIRED LOVELY
Men with long hair. Ingenious. Don't you think it makes a man ludicrously gorgeous?
I mean, just look at my examples: Chad Kroeger, Alex Zane, Merlin from Casualty and, erm, OK, I'm out of examples, but you get the gist, right?
Frank N Furter's Bride
Big wusses if you ask me.
IT'S NOT ROCK LOOKING LIKE A GIRL
WLW!
What are you doing down that dark alley? Curiosity told you, did she? What, and you trusted her?
Think of the cat, WLW, think of the cat!
Moses the speculating hedgehog
She promised I'd find Jaffa Cakes —
SHE LIES
GO MAVIS!
I'd like to present a poem to the lovely Mavis:
Mavis, Mavis, you're so fine,
You're such a groovy feline,
With your scary hat, and your sticky tongue,
That you use to eat Jaffa cakes, and drink fine rum,
You attack Avril Lavigne, Blazin' Squad and Busted too,
Even though I must say you smell like... sweet roses.
Pint-sized Pineapple
Mavis is purring like crazy,
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL
OH DEAR...
WLW, I have a terrible problem and it's causing great friction in my house.
I am a member of Team Avril (oh, such talent), whereas a fellow 'Ziner (The One and Only Magical Me) is firmly against the spunky youngster!
You may say: "Well, that happens every day." Wrong! It's a bit harder to avoid each other when you're sisters!
Please help me!
Triangular Frostbite
Blame your mother,
MAYBE SHE BELONGS TO THE MILKMAN
I'M DA QUEEN OF SKITTLES EVERYONE!
Teehee, don't you just think skittles are the best?
They are so round and colourful and edible, plus, they are much better tasting than plastic display apples!
Uummmm...
Queen Skittle Girl
They lost their appeal when I
DISLODGED THREE FILLINGS
GET OUT OF MY GIRAFFE ENCLOSURE!
I realise that you keep printing my beautiful love puppy but you have failed to print me.
I am not impressed. If this is not rectified then 'Zine will be banned from my giraffe enclosure!
Mr Futon
Can't have that now,
NEED TO STRETCH MY LONG SPOTTY LEGS
BLIZZARD!
After much deliberation, I have finally come to the conclusion that 'blizzard' is the best word in the world.
Not only does it mean blizzard (cool) but if you remove the "b" you get lizzard and after removing both "b" and "l" you get Izzard, as in Eddie Izzard, who is undoubtedly the funniest man ever.
Thank you for letting me waste a minute of your life.
The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin
Not so good when caught up in a
SNOW BLIZZARD MINUS YOUR SHOES
