The Mega-Zine Museum
March 27, 2003
THE GOOSE ON THE LOOSE TIMMONS So WLW, somebody told me you were a wrestler... I packed a few punches down the gym last night.
THE BLOSSOMING WEED RIP Digitiser. Started: January 1 1993, died: March 8 2003. Oh well, I have 'zine still! Start the revolution to get rid of Nick and then I can have his pay cheque.
PIPPYPEA Mothers and the internet: they don't work. No, I would imagine it's quite disturbing to come across a picture of your mother.
BRIGGIE SHOCKER!!!
I am writing to tell the Brigadier that I am your love child.
PS: My mother wants 18 years' worth of maintenance which comes to £234,176.55.
The Brigadier's Love Child
That's really not something you want
TO DIVULGE TO THE WHOLE 'ZINE
CATEGORIES
You know how kids these days all fit into a category, like the goths, boggers, moshers, townies, trendies and all that? Well I am currently having a crisis! I don't fit into any of these categories at all.
I am a bit goth, a bit skater, a bit punk, a bit townie and a bit trendie. I have decided to have my own category. It will be the Randoms, a category for anyone who has nowhere else to go.
Haribo Girli
I thought randoms were just strangers
I KISSED THEN NEVER TELL ON
CLIFTONITES — A WARNING
Anyone who ever went to Harry Carlton Comprehensive will know what I'm on about. Cliftonites are basically townies (complete with Adidas tracksuits and bling-bling nonsense speak), but with accents like a donkey imitating Ali G.
They are all evil and not to be underestimated, for they are armed with Blazin' Squad CDs.
Anathema
Send them to war,
THEY'RE SCARING ME RIGID
TIME FOR A CHANGE
I was unfortunate enough to find myself watching Top Of The Pops Saturday. One of the guests was definitely a huge townie, so I'm guessing he was from Blazin' Squad.
He gets asked a question about some single, and this is his answer: "That song isn't really my style. Wait, I think it's brilliant. Yeah. Sorted."
Nice to know idiots are still appreciated these days.
A leprechaun called Steve
At least he wasn't trying to make that
FEARNE JOIN IN THE 'SINGING'
FIVE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY SOCKS
- The way they warm me from my toes right up to my knees.
- The way the coloured stripes scare the puppy from under my feet.
- The way the colours match all my clothes.
- The way I can wear 'em every day to annoy my mum.
- And the way the smell keeps away my loony sis!
The Audacious Strawberry
That was quite a nice list to begin
THEN IT GOT A BIT CHEESY
THE ADVENTURES OF MATT FATT — PART 2
Matt walks past an old man on a bench.
| Matt: | "Hey, wait there, oldie, how are things?" |
| Man: | "Err, OK, my chest is a bit tight though, it's all these fumes from the cars." |
| Matt: | "Yeah, they pollute, but hey, what doesn't in this helter-skelter modern world?" |
| Man: | "Err, trees." |
| Matt: | "Yeah." |
Topper
Wisdom comes with age
EXCEPT IN YOUR CASE
THE BR*G*D**R
The reason I censor this 'ziner's name is 'cos I'm sick of hearing about him!
Why does everyone keep bringing him up all the time? Especially you, WLW!
My theory is that you ARE The Br*g*d**r! And you're just indulging in shameless self-plugging!
Ha! That's you rumbled!
Evil Tongs
Wash your mouth out!
I'M NO BORING OLD SMELLY FART
