Mega-Zine
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March 3, 2003

THE CHOCOLATE-DIPPED TREKKIE I've been to the year 3000, and everyone speaks Klingon. Good job I won't be around then. Never did understand it much.

THE ONE AND ONLY MAGICAL ME "...which is why the creation of the new and improved recreational facilities will undoubtedly benefit the standardised test pass rate of the average squid". You wrote our new office manual?

EDNA THE WHINING WHALE The water is Gold. Every time I need a shower. Perky arm hairs then?

 

MY FIRST PET

I bought myself a piglet,
His face was very sweet,
But then my dad got angry,
Now pig is sausage meat.

Please draw a pig for me, WLW

Drawing of a whole pig.

Gnirlig

Much prettier than the battered sausage

I GOT FROM THE CHIP SHOP LAST NIGHT

 

DREAMS

I had this dream, a really vivid one, that I was floating down my road on a giant tsunami.

Amazing how your body will warn you when you've left the bath taps running.

Wonder what I'll dream tomorrow.

Ammopogo

I had a vision of someone I went to

SCHOOL WITH. NIGHTMARE

 

WORLD WIDE ZINE

I was surfing the World Wide Web the other day, and found a website all about 'Zine, with a list of 'Ziners.

Now, WLW, you can either call your lawyer, or wallow in the fact that there are 1147 'Ziners in total.

Does that make you feel popular, WLW?

Tarantino Squirrel

A fan club bigger than One True Voice's

I HAVE ARRIVED

 

HUH?

La la la lalalalalaaaaaaa, la la la laaaaa, la la la laaaaaaaaaa! Dum dum le dum de dum, de dum de dum, de dum de dum!

Splish splosh splosh splosh splish, splat! Splat splat splat, splat splat splat!

Oh, sorry, didn't see you there, um, quite embarrased now, um right... um, bye!

Fayzilium

The church has it's doors open for

THE MONTHY FETE. DIG DEEP

 

THINGS THAT I DID ON MY SCHOOL TRIP TO RUSSIA

  • Ate in McDonalds.
  • Bought bottles of Russian Coke.
  • Tried to get my teachers to say "nice bum" in Russian to the soldiers without realising it.
  • Had drunk teachers talking my ears off for hours.

Next time, what I learnt on my school trip to Russia (a much shorter list)

Ye Purple Puff of Ancient Lore

Did you get one of those big hats?

YOU CAN SCARE PEOPLE WITH THEM

 

SCARY THINGS

  • The freaky dolls at the beginning of Hollyoaks.
  • The level of bad acting in Hollyoaks.
  • The number of blonde clones in Hollyoaks.
  • The stupid storylines in Hollyoaks.
  • The fact that I'm addicted to Hollyoaks.
  • The fact that I have nothing else to talk about besides Hollyoaks.

Cherries Jubilee

What I want to know is how dolls

CAN DRINK COFFEE WITHOUT MELTING

 

MY FRIEND

While talking to my friend he mentioned that he wanted to be a "professional breast-stroker".

Oh, how I laughed. It turned out he meant swimming.

Still, that's an amusing job title if I ever saw one.

Sykopathik Mushroom

Hey, I think we've just found a

NEW PROFESSION FOR THE BRIGADIER!