Mega-Zine
Icon

February 10, 2003

THE SOULSHAKER I am the soulshaker coming from behind the speakers. Can you hear me? I am all around you. Yeah. Keep it down mate. I had a late night.

THE EIGHTEENTH NOODLE I was just wondering, is The Brigadier going to give discounts on his port? They all want it down at the sushi bar. I heard he was too tight to buy a Valentine's gift for the woman in the travel agent.

PURPLE PUNK Thisspacebarissticking. Help You now have letters on your forehead.

 

BAAAAAAAAAAD STUFF

You know things are bad when...

  • You have an urge to play that Spice Girls CD.
  • You almost smile at a townie.
  • You find your arm attached to a gorilla.

All three can be cured by, well I don't know... they're just bad situations to be in.

Gerty and her onions

The first one happened to me Saturday

I LOSE IT AFTER A STIR-FRY

 

TUNA

Due to bad reception, I don't know who it was who wrote in a few weeks ago to claim that tuna is the best of all the fish, but nonetheless, I am obliged to point out the error in all this.

Pilchards are clearly the best fish — why else would there be such a great word for them?

The Psychedelic Gloom

Never dared eat one of those slimy

CREATURES. THEY JUST LOOK WRONG

 

PENNY CRAYON

I was getting quite nostalgic today and I thought of this programme. You know, the one where Penny has a crayon and whatever she draws comes alive. Good that. Nothing beats the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, though.

WLW, can I have a picture of a Jaffa Cake, and if it comes alive, we can photocopy.

Syfanatic

Sorry, I've eaten all the Jaffa icons

SHARED THEM WITH SPLINTER

 

THE SALON

I really love this! I'm not entirely sure why watching a load of people getting massages or having their hair snipped makes good television, but I like it! Better than Big Brother anyway.

Plus that Paul... mmmmmmmm.

The DimGirl (from the molehole)

Biggest bunch of reality TV losers yet

SPOTTED RICARDO IN LEICESTER SQ...

 

TOO STUPID TO THINK OF A TITLE

Sorry WLW, I was in the middle of typing a letter, but partly due to daydreaming and partly due to discouragement, due to the fact that you never print my letters, I forgot where I was going with it and gave up.

The Frustrated Jelly Baby Bandit

No wonder you're frustrated

LET IT ALL OUT IN YOUR LETTERS

 

HELLO

You know, since childhood I have often wondered what the deal is with You've Been Framed. Don't you ever wonder if the people caught on camera set themselves up?

I mean, the other week, this student "fell" downstairs. Why would someone just happen to be standing there with a camera?

Magical Monkey

I do believe it's got something to do

WITH £250, NOT LISA RILEY

 

WLW

My Christmas presents this year included:

  • Two turnips
  • Some turnip seeds
  • A packet of envelopes
  • Three rolls of Sellotape
  • A cocktail stirrer in the shape of an elephant
  • Four pegs

Woohoo — see how loved I am?

Squidgy Lobster

But you've only opened them now?

MY SELECTION BOX IS LOOOONG GONE!