The Mega-Zine Museum
February 9, 2003
AETHRA ZACIE I did have something interesting to say a second ago, honest! That's what Sneddon claimed on Fame Academy. Then he won. Swine.
MARZ (with 3 Zs) So what would happen if a synchronized swimmer started to drown? The others would be in trouble then! That's what lifeguards are for. They're not just eye-candy you know.
BOADICEA Absinthe makes my heart grow fonder. You sure about that? It burns our chests like sitting on a bonfire.
HEY ALL 'ZINERS
This is my first message though I have been reading this for about a year.
Can you e-mail Dr Nick?
OK, I've forgotten what I was gonna say on this message.
Mike
Let WLW help you
NICK IS USELESS AT ADVICE
TINY PLANETS
I, too, have seen the wonder that is Tiny Planets. Do not fear, you are not alone!
I think we should now start a club in honour of these strange creatures which are Bing and Bong.
In fact, I know the theme song to it off by heart. Shall I begin singing it?
Barbie Must Die
No singing, no clubs!
FLAMING AVRIL IS BAD ENOUGH. STOP!
THINGS THAT NEED EXPLAINING
- White noise — it isn't even white. Or am I colour blind?
- The phrase 'til the cows come home'. Where exactly have they been? On a crime spree?
- B*ckch*t — these people need more help than me.
- Avril Lavigne — just why?
- Why I have nothing better to do with my life than write this e-mail.
Mr Self-Destruct
The cows go out to pasture to make
MILK FOR MY CORNFLAKES OBVIOUSLY
PANTO
Although I went to the panto over a month ago it is only now I can speak of the horrors I saw.
When I arrived I saw The Krankies who were actually quite funny, then, shock horror, Janette Krankie appeared in fishnet stockings, and then turned around and wiggled her bum.
Please help raise funds for my mental therapy WLW!
Viva La Revolution
I'm still paying for help after seeing
THE HAMILTONS IN THEIR NETS. SCARY
SNOW CRUSTS
I don't see what all the fuss is about with snow. I mean it's all right for everyone snug and warm in their little houses, but what about us ducks?
Our homes are frozen over and nobody bothers to come and feed us in this weather. It's downright despicable. Then when they do come all they ever bring is mouldy crusts!
The (very grumpy) Duck With The Umbrella
You must be qwackers to eat mould.
GEDDIT? OK, I'M HAVING A BAD DAY
DR NICK
So anyway, I went into Waterstones bookshop the other day and asked for Dr Nick's book, Living With A Willy, and the woman behind the counter gave the weirdest stare ever!
I mean, what's she got against Dr Nick?
Jeez, A girl just can't get decent service these days!
Shirley The Rainbow Sheep
She probably couldn't face the ghosts
IN THE ANTIQUES CELLAR
DANCING
A young tyke by the name of Justin Timberlake came round to my abode yesterday to teach me some dance moves.
I was most unimpressed with this inarticulate whippersnapper. His shameless cavortings were embarrassing.
I could certainly teach him to cut a rug. I can hoof it like the best of them, I can assure you.
The Brigadier
A new man for Britney Spears!
WELL, SHE WENT FOR FRED DURST...
