The Mega-Zine Museum
December 23, 2002
INFECTED FREAK Hey WLW, I've finally worked out the meaning of life. It's... oooh, the Tweenies are on, gotta go. Far be it from me to stand in the way of you and culture.
SYKOPATHIK MUSHROOM I just wanted to wish all 'Ziners and WLW a very Happy Christmas. And you just have.
THE ARTIST NOW KNOWN AS EXIT WLW, please answer me something. One True Voice and Girls Aloud — what's with the dumb names? You think I chose them?
BIRTHDAY
It was my mum's idea of a bad joke to give birth to me at the one time of the year that people are concentrating on something else.
Yes folks, I was born on Christmas Eve. And do you know what they called me? Holly. Now that's just going overboard if you ask me.
Insanity Smurf
Oh dear — well, could have been worse,
THOUGH I'M NOT SURE HOW EXACTLY
THE HARDEST MATHS EQUATION EVER
What do you get when you add together the number of people in Blazin' Squad, the number of people in So Solid Crew, then times the number of people on Big Brother?
Answers on a postcard.
<>Deshman<>
What you get is an awful lot of
TALENTLESS OIKS
MY CRAZY DREAMS
I am very worried about the dreams I have been having recently. All my friends keep turning into animals.
In one dream, me and my friend were playing badminton and every time she hit the shuttlecock, she made duck noises. Then she started hitting me with her racket while chasing me round the sports hall.
Then, in a puff of smoke, she turned into a white, fluffy duck and flew away.
What does it mean, WLW?
The Crazy Red Devil
It means that the bottle in the fridge
THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS WATER... WASN'T
'ELLO WLW
Conversation topics at college this week:
- Is Avril really worth the fuss or is she just as fake as the rest of them?
- PVC v leather.
- Kids with wallet chains — discuss.
- Mini Jaffa Cakes?
- Can I borrow your forensics notes?
It's all go at college, isn't it?
Rennaps
Not exactly, no —
DID YOU STUDY ANYTHING THIS WEEK?
CHRISTMAS — BAH, HUMBUG
Well, it's the season to be jolly, apparently, but to me it's the season to have to wrap up warm and still get the mother of all colds.
Yeah, OK, we have Christmas but there's only so much alcohol and Christmas pudding you can take.
Jezza
I think you'll find there is no limit
TO HOW MUCH YOU CAN STUFF YOURSELF
I AM SUCH A WIT!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, when one of them starts crying.
"What's wrong?" asks the first. "I've lost an electron" the other sobs. "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
Thank you, thank you. You don't get it? Well, when atoms lose an electron as part of a process called ionic bonding... oh, never mind.
The Purple Frog
Yes, very good, we get it —
SUMMER SEASON IN BRIDLINGTON?
ADVERTS I COULD LIVE WITHOUT
- The Welch advert when the family mime and drink their very own special Welch's grape juice.
- The new aol advert where the man loses and then finds his trial cd.
- The ads with the elephant. How many times does the man plug elephant.co.uk?
So, in conclusion, I think the world would be a much better place if these adverts were burned in an old Aga.
The "Tranchinator"
You do realise that you just plugged
elephant.co.uk AGAIN, DON'T YOU?
