The Mega-Zine Museum
December 9, 2002
JTHM Why is it that, whenever I leave my home, without fail, it's as if I give up my every right to be treated with respect and dignity? Welcome to London. Have a nice day.
SAM GOT A SNORKEL Does anyone else think that Maltesers come from Malta? Just me then... Definitely just you.
DJ DAVE Am I the only person who gets the Osmonds confused with the Osbournes? Possibly not. Do you believe that Maltesers come from Malta?
WLW
Since most new 'Ziners seem to be printed with a new addition to Poetry Corner, I thought I would attempt it:
Warrington has factories and many dirty places.
Even so, the people there always have clean faces.
Warrington is great, my family live there.
If you go near the soap factory, it's smelly, so beware.
I don't live in Warrington, by the way.
Fishbulb
And wisely so...
DOESN'T SOUND TOO HAPPENING
MOST HATED LIST (in my opinion)
- The Leeds team, minus Venables
- Pop-ups on the net... grrrrrrrrr
- Poodles — in fact, all dogs that resemble rats
- The "Uncle Alberts" of the nation that seem to be in every pub reciting tales from the war
Next, reasons why I hate townie students.
Syfanatic
The Leeds team INCLUDING Venables —
SURELY?
ACE IS ACE
I must be the only one happy about the new changes. Ace is my favourite word ever! It is, of course, the name of the character that Kiefer Sutherland played in Stand By Me.
Now, every time I switch Teletext on, I can say, "Don't move, Ace" and press home. Mmmmm... Kiefer Sutherland.
Pink Punk Princess
Yeah, not sure the Kiefer thing was
WHAT WE WERE ACTUALLY GOING FOR
STOP MOANING!
WLW, I bet you're fed up with all The whiny letters you're getting regarding the 'Zine's new location and colour scheme. Well, I'd just like to say that I don't mind it at all.
The Teletext bosses wouldn't let us move back to p142 anyway — we'd be part of the horrendous Lifestyle magazine! Who'd want that?
Furthermore, Ace has taken the Mega-zine logo as its own. Surely this shows that our influence is increasing... Long live 'Zine!
Insane Jam Sow
Well, it's OK here in 182 — bit chilly,
NEEDS A LICK OF PAINT AND A HEATER
MY CD COLLECTION
So, you don't like my CDs, WLW. Are you sure you saw them all? Here's a list of the best ones, just in case:
Metallica — The Black Album
Offspring — Americana
Metallica — ...And Justice For All
Foo Fighters — One By One
Are you sure you weren't taken over by someone like Ed that day?
A Leprechaun Called Steve
Where were these hiding then? Under
THE JUMPER WITH THE REINDEER ON IT?
ALPHABETICAL 'ZINERS
If there was a list of 'Ziners in alphabetical order, where would I come?
Along with all the other 'The's? Or under '12th Lemon, The'? In which case, would I be under T or at the start or end, along with all the other numbers? Or even 'Lemon, The 12th'?
Please clarify this for me, I need to know where I stand.
The 12th Lemon
Golly, my head hurts all of a sudden —
NOW, WHAT YOU GOING ON ABOUT?
BOYS!
Seriously though, what is the problem with them? First, they ask you out. You stop to consider, but before you can blink, they're going out with a girl who looks very similar to you.
Then they insist that they MUST talk to you, but they disappear without trace. Decent boys must have become extinct.
Blonde Butterfly
Moral of this story. Never "consider" —
SAY YES, THEN DUMP IF NECESSARY
