The Mega-Zine Museum

December 8, 2002

GENIUS AT WORK Complete in under 10 words: "I would sell my gran for a Jaffa Cake because..." Bit difficult to answer that. Granny WLW conducts random checks of these pages between bouts of knitting and jam making.

THE RIEGSTER Ooooooh, what does this button do? Nooooo, don't touch th... now see what you did!

HEWHOCANNOTBENAMED Can you believe it, kicked out of karaoke for singing a Cannibal Corpse song. Philistines.

WLW

Following my rather blunt message before, I've decided to write poetry:

The doctor of my soul
The entirety of it all
It feeds my life
I feel it growing
The hunger in my stomach
It asks, it asks
I cannot bear the hunger
Give me the solution

I'm clean out of Jaffa Cakes!

<>Deshman<>

Never get into that situation again —

BUY IN BULK... BUY IN BULK

OI!

I must speak out and complain — what HAVE you done with the colour scheme? I mean, blue? What's happened — are you turning into a Chelsea fan?

You have the option of changing it back to decent colours... or drawing me a piccie. Of a tomato.

The Disgruntled Tomato

Your wish... etc... etc...

DON'T LOOK TOO DISGRUNTLED THOUGH

EXAMS

Why do so many teachers insist on wearing high heels? I mean, isn't the whole point of an exam to have quiet so we can concentrate?

High heels and a wooden floor don't make the quietest noise, especially when they walk around the hall every two minutes like a certain teacher did today in my exam. Didn't even attempt to walk quietly.

Oh no, it's alright for them, isn't it?

Gnuffo1

And frankly, he should never have been

WEARING HEELS IN THE FIRST PLACE

THINGS I'M GOING TO DO:

1. Become president of Guatemala
2. Marry Avril Lavigne
3. Work harder (starting next week, obviously)
4. Stop watching Trisha

I could add "get out more" to that list, but that would just be too obvious. Not likely, anyway.

Samurai Hedgehog

Ooooh, busy day ahead then —

BEST GET STARTED

GREAT THINGS ABOUT MY HOME TOWN — NEWCASTLE

• The amount of black and white pride everywhere; it's just so justified, dontcha think?
• The amount of charvers; such great, civilised people.
• The wonderful accent; so painfully unbvoiebble.

Yep, Newcastle sure is one hell of a town.

That Charming Wilson

What's that I can smell? Ah yes...

THE SMELL OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED IRONY

TEST

I am going to find out if I can say any of the following without getting censored:

• Sl*pk*ot
• B*ckch*t
• En**em
• P*p

I guess not. Oh well, it was worth a try.

A Leprechaun Called Steve

Worth a try — though why the word 'pip'

NEEDS CENSORING, I DON'T KNOW

TOP TEN GARDEN JOBS

1. Mowing the lawn
2. Pruning the azalias
3. Touching up the patio doors
4. Sharpening the secateurs
5. Replacing broken fencing
6. Standing blankly in shed all afternoon, wondering why she left
7. Filling the compost bin
8. Frightening off cats
9. Raking leaves in autumn
10. Buffing the gnomes

Cardiman

Sometimes, just sometimes, this job

SCARES THE LIFE OUT OF ME

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