Mega-Zine
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December 6—7, 2002

MR ROBOFISH ...which is why I sometimes start sentences half-way through. So THAT'S the reason. I did wonder.

SCHIZONUMBER3 I talked about 'Zine in a uni interview and still got offered a place. That's what happens when you Apply for useless courses. No finer degree than that in 'Zineology.

mooses-NOT-meese I'm miserable, WLW. Tell me a joke. Where do bees go to the toilet? A BP station! A BP station! Suit yourself.

 

IF 'ZINERS WERE... TOILET CLEANERS

On second thoughts, that really doesn't seem like such a good idea. I'm not even going to go there.

Can someone please take away my laptop before I do someone a mischief?

WLW? Anyone?

Blonde Butterfly

Give it here, I'll look after it... OK,

SO WHAT AM I BID? DO I HEAR £50?

 

THINGS I LOVE BUT DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY:

  1. Simon Cowell
  2. Manic Street Preachers
  3. Marmite and cucumber sandwiches
  4. Liverpool Football Club
  5. Turning all the books upside down in my local bookstore
  6. The number 22
  7. Daytime television

Excuse me, WLW, I have to go now — the men in white coats are at the door.

Firebreathing Mouse

I don't understand why either —

LIVERPOOL? SIMON COWELL? YOU SURE?

 

PUSHING MY LUCK

If I sent you the same letter every day for a year, what are my chances of getting it printed eight times and on a different pane each time?

By the way, due to a technical error, I am now Daveofmoosaifame as well as the Happy Little Elf. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Daveofmoosaifame

The chances are less than finding

A BLAZIN' SQUAD BOY WHO CAN SING

 

TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS... EVER:

  • Tinsel (the more the better)
  • Fairy lights (twinkly and pretty)
  • Glitter glue (ooh, sparkly)
  • Christmas TV (tacky, yet fantastic)
  • Crackers (the paper hat is just genius)

Inflammable Water

You forgot about the fat beardy bloke —

OR AS I CALL HIM... DAD

 

IF 'ZINERS WERE PLANETS

Genius At Work— Mercury (the winged messenger)
WLW — Mars (most definitely a bloke)
Satan's Rubber Duck — Jupiter (the jolly one, my fave)
The Brigadier — Pluto (far, far away but still there)
The Way And The Light — Sun (the way and the light)

And yes, the sun is a planet!

Purple Punk

Most definitely a bloke?

WHAT ABOUT MRS MARS?

 

!!!!

I am appalled by your behaviour on 'Zine, issue November 26.

You stated a web address: www.ireallyneedalife.com. I was delighted to hear of such a site and proceeded to go on the internet to use it.

However, I typed in the address and found it doesn't exist!

What have you got to say for yourself, WLW?

Jeff The Jiff

It doesn't?

I'M GONNA BE SOOOOOO RICH!

 

TOP 10 DOMESTIC MISHAPS

  1. Dropping your toast (butter down)
  2. Dropping your toast (butter up)
  3. Tripping on the stairs
  4. Slamming your thumb in the lounge door (very nasty, this one)
  5. Smashing a milk bottle in the sink
  6. Leaving the freezer door ajar
  7. Trapsing mud through the hall
  8. Spilling milk in the toaster
  9. Crying for no reason
  10. Putting salt in your tea

Cardiman

And standing on the cat's tail —

BELIEVE ME, I STILL HAVE THE SCARS