The Mega-Zine Museum
November 25, 2002
BOBBY WOE-ANORAK So, Insane Jam Sow has a thing for Tim Vine? Makes my Natasha Kaplinsky fetish look normal! I'm not so sure that's normal either.
GERTY AND HER ONIONS I really like the re-runs of Crystal Maze. The presenter with the bald head is THE best. First he's munching an apple, then playing the mouth organ. What next? Who knows?
FARMER JACK WLW and 'Ziners — I dropped three quid down the back of your sofa. Can you send it back, please? Spent it.
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT RUBIES, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK ME:
The finest rubies come from Burma and Thailand. The chemical name for a ruby is corundum and the ruby is made red by a trace of ferric oxide and chromium.
Like Mega-zine they are red, exotic and hard to figure out.
Ruby Slippers
Sadly, Mega is blue now. Anyone know
MUCH ABOUT SAPPHIRES THEN?
A LITTLE WORRIED
If a list of 'Ziners is produced in alphabetical order (thank you, Insane Jam Sow), then I am to be found sandwiched between Galder Weatherwax's Hat and George, the Duck-Billed Fridge!
I ask the question — is this a safe place to be, or should I be holding on tight to my baseball bat?
Genius at Work
Keep that bat about your person
AT ALL TIMES
USELESS FACTS
- Emus can't walk backwards
- Hamsters blink one eye at a time
- Your brain is 80% water
- The state of Florida is bigger than England
- Horses and rabbits can't vomit
- Slugs have four noses
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
Purple Punk
That door-to-door encyclopedia seller
REALLY GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T HE?
SAM GOT A SNORKEL
As a fellow Devoner, I have also heard that annoying Launa Man advert on Gemini FM ("more variety, without the hard rock"). Unfortunately, I have also heard the Coldseal (if that's how you spell it) Windows ad.
All together now: "Well, Coldseal windows reckon they're the best..."
The Little Silver Moonbaby
This Gemini FM sounds like one
SCARY SCARY STATION TO ME
THE PLANET
That's a fantastic rock club in Wolverhampton where I went with my good friend Jo (she's gonna love seeing her name on Teletext — hiya Jo!), and who should I bump into but Black Widow! Bizarre.
Have any other 'Ziners met in strange places where they didn't expect to meet? Plughole in Sainsburys? The Brigadier in Help The Aged?
Fluffy The Evil One
Briggy is barred from Help The Aged —
IT'S A LONG AND MESSY STORY
MONEY MONEY MONEY
I would like to thank you, WLW, on your career advice as now, thanks to you, I am a semi-professional footballer. That's right, now I earn my money from football. Soon, I'll be cruising in my Ferrari with ex-Spice Girls.
How much do I get? OK, so it's only ten quid... but you do get pasties after games.
Sam Got A Snorkel
Ten quid? And pasties after games?
YOU PLAYING FOR EXETER THEN?
THE 'ZINE VAMPIRE ARMY
I should be in it. No wait, I should head it. After all, not only do I actually possess a pair of fangs (which are very useful; I bet no-one else has any), I also quite like garlic, thus any attempts to deter me will only incite me futher.
Gnuffo1
But do you have a black cape and a
COMEDY HORROR LAUGH LIKE THE COUNT?
