The Mega-Zine Museum
November 24, 2002
PURPLE PUNK If I said spam, what would you say? Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, beans, spam, spam and... spam.
SOAP SUD Hey, do you remember when you were a kid and all your toys had two names and split personalities? Or was that just me? Just you... and him.
JUDICIOUS RAMALOKE Ever felt like a cow and a yak were holding a tap-dancing contest in your stomach? It's amusing at first, but plain irritating and hurty afterwards. Let's see... no.
BARNEY
How does a bloke dressed as a 7-foot purple dinosaur manage to stay sooooo upbeat at 6am in the morning, when any resepectable person is just crawling into bed?
Give me a decent reason why he manages to get up in the morning. Just one.
Genius at Work
He's getting paid —
ONLY ONE I CAN THINK OF
THE MOVE
How could you move 'Zine to p182? You see, I have a slight problem with my remote control — the 8 doesn't work! Or the 2. At the moment I have to go to p141 and flick through with the flicky buttons.
OK, it's probably my fault that the remote doesn't work, but it doesn't say "not to be thrown at annoying little sisters".
So, for me, please could you change the page to a number with any combination of the following numbers: 1, 4 and 0.
The Duck In The Hat
I'll bring it up at the next AGM —
BUT THE ODDS ARE NOT GOOD
DEAR WLW AND 'ZINERS
The top five most beautiful things in London (in reverse order):
- St Paul's Cathedral, such beauty.
- The River Thames, on a warm spring morning.
- Buckingham Palace, exquisite.
- The National Portrait Gallery, always a pleasure.
- McDonald's.
OK, now guess which places I have actually visited!
Hippycrit
I'm going out on a limb here but —
DID YOU HAVE FRIES WITH THAT?
'ZINE
Hello all, I'm back. Still in Stoke, still supporting Stoke City too.
Here's a brief review of the last month or so:
Went to see Gemma Hayes and the Fast Show Live, turned 17, got a girlfriend, moved house, read 'Zine and laughed heartily at Arsenal's 4-match run of defeats.
So, did you miss me? Rather, can you remember me? No matter.
So, WLW, what's new with you? Still on that medication?
Undeniable Me
One of us needs medication!
STOKE CITY INDEED
PIGEONS
Why must we participate in this campaign against our feathered friends, the pigeons? What have they done wrong? I beg to differ with Ammopogo and his Anti-Pigeon League.
Pigeons are cute, feathery, friendly and I have a friend who believes he will be a pigeon in the next life.
SAVE THE PIGEON!
The 12th Lemon
You wanna hope that your friend doesn't
END UP IN AMMOPOGO'S GARDEN, THEN!
5,4,3,2,1... WE HAVE A DAMP SQUIB!
Feeling very upset that no one invited me to turn on their Christmas lights, favouring instead the Cheeky Girls, Bob the Builder and Hale and Pace, I found an alternative that's just as good: pressing the caps lock, num lock and scroll lock buttons on the keyboard and watching the indicators light up.
You can even gather a crowd and get them to gasp and then cheer wildly at the incredible sight.
The Despotic Banana
Wow — it IS fun! Hey, where did all
THESE PEOPLE COME FROM? SHOO SHOO...
ALL IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE
I have proven the advert for those Harvest cheweee bars completely wrong. It claims that they shut kids up while they are eating them, 'cos the required chewing makes them unable to speak.
However, I have managed to eat one AND sing the backing vocals to that classic song from Grease, Beauty School Dropout. Admittedly, I did end up gobbing most of the bar over my mates.
The Way And The Light
What some people will do
JUST TO PROVE A POINT
