The Mega-Zine Museum
October 31, 2002
FLUTTERBY WLW, how sweet it is to be loved by you... Oh, if I had a pound for every time I hear that I'd... I'd... well, I'd have a quid.
CAGED LIBERTY I strongly advise having 13 sugars in your next coffee. That's basically a cup of syrup, no?
SPANDOREXXA My congratulations to the good Mr Dickinson on his TV award... bravo old chap! Surely proof that if you hang around long enough, they'll give absolutely anyone an award.
WLW AND 'ZINERS
You have made my day. I now know I am not alone in thinking that the new Sunny D woman is excruciatingly grating on the nerves.
I feel I should contribute to the most hated TV ads:
- The Sanex ad — surely kissing somebody's armpits isn't normal?
- The Halifax ads — such hideous 'singing' doesn't even qualify for an S Club Juniors support act.
- Herbal Essences shampoo — cheesy!
The Victim Of Bubble Wrap
The list of crass ads is endless.
'I'M STICKING WITH YOU, COS I'M...'
WLW AND 'ZINERS
Enhance your reading pleasure of p142 by viewing that display of sartorial elegance Fifteen to One beforehand.
(cue music) Today's contestants are...
Trevor Bailiff from Fulham, south London. He's a retired supply teacher who plays solitaire in his spare time. He's sporting a leather jacket, brown shirt, orange cravat, 47 inch beard and John Lennon glasses.
Is that you I see, WLW?
Ruby Slippers
I did not retire — I was pushed.
MY TEACHING METHODS WERE A TAD RAD
OH MY GOD!
Urban Hero — I work in Trowbridge, went to school in Bradford-on-Avon and I go to the Pig (LOVE the orange walls!)
Altogether now... "it's a small world after all..."
Favourite sweets? Sherbert Lemons every time.
Dyslexic Alien
Of course, to the rest of us,
THIS MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
AN INVITATION FROM THE OTHER SIDE
As 'Ziners, I feel it's time we all got to know one another a little better. So I hereby invite you all for a meal round my place.
Travel arrangements have already been taken care of, so I won't accept no for an answer. You'll find me an entertaining host.
WLW, I have a gut feeling a good night will be had by all.
Jack O Lantern
What time does the bus get here?
I AM SOOO SITTING ON THE BACK SEAT
ONE QUESTION
Has anyone ever seen those road signs saying 'Heavy plant crossing'? I sat there for two hours in the hope of seeing a giant hydrangea drag itself across the road.
Talk about false information. They should be sued!
Darth Hideous
That's odd. Come down my way —
CAN'T MOVE FOR MUTANT BIZZY LIZZIES
POETRY CORNER
OK, brace yourselves for a modern masterpiece!
The Long And The Short Of It
Sometimes poems are long
Sometimes they are short
Sometimes they're not either
Not quite long
But not quite short
Next week: "Where's Me Pudding"
Paragon
My breath has never been so bated in
ANTICIPATION OF THE PUDDING POEM
THE BRIGADIER
He hasn't been on for a while, but me and my friend were wondering how old he was?
We calculated that, to be a World War II veteran, he'd have to have been born no later than 1927, making him 75 this year.
Or is he just a brigadier in 'Zineland?
King of the Telegraph Poles
If he's ever released from hospital
I'LL MAKE A POINT OF ASKING HIM
