The Mega-Zine Museum
October 20, 2002
AGENT ESTATE For sale: One giraffe, short neck, little fat legs, fluffy tail, bald. Going cheap, only £500... anybody want it? I thought only birds went cheap...(pause)... ha ha ha ha!
SCHIZONUMBER3 My ear hurts. You might want to remove the courgette.
THE DISGRUNTLED SWEETHEART OF KICKBACK WLW... should I laugh or cry? I just don't know anymore. Well, new series of The Office, so that's a laugh. But, new single from Britney, definitely a cry.
'ZINERS
After watching a number of football matches this season, I have decided certain sections of the public should be banned from all games. They are:
- Anyone who uses the phrases "footie" or "goalie" — you're banned.
- The woman who stroked the back of my head at the Man Utd vs Everton game — strange, strange woman. Banned.
- Whoever sang, "We all know Diego Forlan's gonna score" — eh? You clearly know nothing about football.
Samurai Hedgehog
Of course, you could stop going
TO WATCH MAN URE GAMES
DANDELION AND 'BLEUGH' DOCK
What foul stuff. But the strange thing is that it has the power to make me act stupidly.
The last time I drank it, I lay with my ear to the ground listening for worms. And I was in my house... upstairs! Worms in the floorboards, maybe?
Insanity Smurf
The first stupid act is to
DRINK THE STUFF AT ALL, SURELY?
DIET COLA
A simple question; what is the point? Some people are under the impression that it will help them with their diet.
If you're on a diet, then surely it would be better just not to drink cola!
The same can also be said of low fat triple chocolate cake. A mystery I cannot solve.
Genius at Work
I quite agree. Why order two Big Macs,
LARGE FRIES AND A DIET COLA? WEIRD
RANTY TIME!
Where are all the nice young men out there? I mean, first, Sir Whence has not replied (unless I missed something) and then the mean person at my college went back to "Ye Olde Typical Male".
If only there were nice men. If you are a nice man, or know of one, please tell me and my faith in humanity shall be restored.
Lola the Angry Showgirl
OK, I think there are magazines
FOR THIS KINDA THING
TA DAAAAA!
It is I — the long forgotten one. I'm back, none the wiser and, well, sort of raring to go.
Can I just say, I love your shoes! I love the clash of orange and spangly bits.
Also, can I ask you summat, WLW — why dontcha print Outcast any more? I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
A guilt trip AND a compliment? Sure fire way to get printed there.
Monk McManus
You don't think that orange
AND SPANGLY BITS ARE TOO MUCH?
moosesNOTmeese and WLW
WLW, I was shocked at your comment about Mooses being the only one who cries listening to Jeff Buckley. You obviously do not understand the power and wonder of this man.
Although I have to admit, 1:33 isn't a very important time for me, I have been known to cry listening to him on a number of occasions.
Now, what do you have to say to that then, eh?
Kleenex the Cop
I feel suitably chastised and
HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME
DEAR WLW
Having failed to be printed with my earlier attempts, I have developed a paranoia so intense that I am now convinced I am the subject of a CIA plot to put cobwebs in my hair.
I can no longer leave the house without a novelty hat to protect my flowing locks and I no longer dare to sit under ceiling vents at school. I know that's where the CIA agents hide.
Please print this, my hair depends on it.
The Freak in the Corner
I'm printing it to prevent any further
OUTBREAKS OF STUFF AND NONSENSE
