The Mega-Zine Museum

July 22, 2002

ARMADILLO IN A FAN-ASSISTED OVEN Quote from my tech teacher: "The main problem with trees is beef." Huh?

SAVAGE CABBAGE This one goes out to the one I love... You know who you are! Is it me? Is it? It's me, isn't it?

AUTUMN ANGEL I am only a fair maiden when I get bored of being a damsel in distress. And I am only a boring idiot when... wait... where was I going with that?

THINGS THAT RULE

• Creed
• Asparagus
• The Asparagus Man
• Cheese
• Fibreglass Monkey
• Them good ol' days
• WLW

Eat more asparagus, WLW, it's great for you!

Bet you can't draw some. Dare ya!

The Asparagus Man

Asparagus you say? Damn —

I WAS SO SURE YOU SAID TOMATO

WLW AND 'ZINERS

Since this is my first e-mail, and Poetry Corner is very popular right now, I thought I'd make a contribution. I apologise in advance for the terrible effort you're about to read.

*Ahem*...

I'm an angry little time bomb
Yet lovely, sweet and kind
A demonic little angel
The best this world will find.

Oh, dear. I must be tired. Where's my Creme Egg?

The Disgruntled Sweetheart of Kickback

Well, I've seen worse...

I MEAN, NOT MUCH WORSE, BUT WORSE

THINGS I DID TODAY

1. Went through the Encyclopedia Britannica and picked out all the typos.
2. Drew a perfect circle, freehand.
3. Scratched my nose. With my elbow.
4. Dragged a fridge round Ireland for a bet.
5. Got my letter screened on 'Zine. My crowning achievement!

Urban Hero

What a busy little bunny you've been!

ME, I... ER, WHAT DID I DO EXACTLY?

WHAT?

Can this be? Styluskid, you have hit the jackpot. The chances of there being two 'Ziners in such a small and insignificant place as Bromsgrove must be quite remote — and yet here I am.

So... what's best about Bromsgrove? The Dolphin Centre? Asda? The amazingly substance-free Advertiser newspaper?

Insane Jam Sow

'Zine, bringing people closer together,

WHATEVER THE WEATHER

I'LL BE IN THERAPY FOR YEARS TO COME

Last night I watched a programme very late at night/early in the morning called Dare To Believe. Imagine The Sketch Show written by a psychopath and you've got it.

One sketch was of a woman giving people an 'elk warning', while another was of a man asking: "Where's your ladle? Mine's here," while holding a ladle.

If anyone else saw this programme, please tell me it actually happened.

Undeniable Me

I missed it —

AND BOY, AM I GLAD

YOU KNOW IT'S HOT WHEN...

• The boiled sweet on the pavement has melted
• Fat people swelter in unforgiving pastel shorts
• You see more Harley Davidsons
• You have to close the curtains to stop the sun melting your audio visual equipment
• You spend time indoors sheltering from the sun instead of the rain

The Snorkmistress

And why does people's fashion sense go

OUT THE WINDOW IN THE SUMMER?

GREETINGS ALL

Only just got the e-mail address, so this is my first message.

Please don't vote Jade off Big Brother, keep her in. Except at the end... board the place up with her still in there and keep her there for good. Much safer than letting her roam free.

Supernatural Swan

Perhaps we could incarcerate them all —

LET THEM EAT EACH OTHER

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