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June 13, 2002

LOOPYLEMUR I saw a Lotto advert with Billy Connolly and he has a housemaid called Mavis. Could it possibly be? This man of madness is, in fact, WLW? Absolutely no chance... yer honour.

PRINCESS PSYCHO I was looking into Korean culture and found out that the Koreans say a dog is not for Christmas, you can have it Boxing Day too! Ewwwww!

FIBREGLASS MONKEY Here, have a Pringle, WLW. Cheese and onion, your favourite. You are too kind... too kind.

 

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN SUMMER:

  1. Teenies start walking around with bright orange legs
  2. Chocolate melts
  3. Weston-super-Mare gets dirtier
  4. Armies of flying ants take over my doorstep
  5. School ends!

Styluskid

So not all bad then — I personally like

SUNSHINE — IF WE GET ANY, THAT IS

 

THURSDAY EVENING, 6.45pm

I was relaxing in the garden, enjoying the sunshine (a rare thing in the North East) when, all of a sudden, my cat awoke with a disgruntled meow.

I glanced in the direction in which he was staring and caught my breath... there, before me, was Charvosia, God of Charvers.

I snapped into action and threw on a Garbage CD. As long as Kappa tracksuits are in production, he'll never be truly defeated!

Mystical Starfish

So we need to go for Kappa then?

OK, WHO'S GOT A PLAN?

 

TO THE MAN BUN

My knowledge of Morrissey and Belli and Sebastian is minimal, but I know what you mean. My tunes on my guitar are quite mellow/playful which makes putting my often cynical lyrics to music rather difficult.

I haven't put my Mr Guitar Player poem to music yet, so I could try that.

If you pass by the Bath/Trowbridge area, we could have a jam, I suppose.

Lucozade Lover

Why not? There's a gap for some

HALF DECENT MORRISSEY-STYLED STUFF

 

THINGS I'VE SEEN IN CLOUDS

  • Faces of members of the Beatles
  • Dogs and cats (mainly moggies)
  • Ice cream cones (various flavours)
  • Bears jumping hills
  • Seven charging horses
  • Trains puffing steam
  • Owls spreading their wings
  • Beautiful maidens

The Grey Man

And, at any stage,

WAS THERE CIDER INVOLVED?

 

HELLO EVERYONE

First letter, so let's all be nice to the newbie. Reasons for writing:

  1. I am bored
  2. I have a new computer
  3. I have no social life whatsoever

And I have a little question for you, WLW — why ARE you called WLW?

The Itsie Bitsie Chocolate Mouse

So young and so naive, but hey —

3 GREAT REASONS FOR WRITING IN!

 

SCOTTISH FOOTBALL

Whatever happened to the days of Souness and Dalglish? After a few dismal defeats in recent weeks, I can't help but feel Scottish international football is a thing of the past.

Unless Berti Vogts searches for players who can play for Scotland, but who may logically be English, his team's chances of qualifying for a World Cup ever again are as likely as Roy Keane ending a sentence with "but I am not an agressive person".

DJ Dave

I agree — I hear a fat lady warming up

IN SAUCHIEHALL STREET AS WE SPEAK

 

WHAT A DISCOVERY!

The other day, I was sat in front of my television flicking through the many esoteric and witty pages of Teletext, when I came across a revelatory page I had not seen before:

ITV, p155, — The Pollen Forecast. What a glorious delight to behold! Written with brevity and utterly fascinating, this takes Teletext to a whole new level in my opinion.

High, low, medium — genius information and reportage.

The Brigadier

'Tis a fine page indeed —

NOT TO BE SNEEZED AT